Well, it's official: I'm an adult.

Now I can legally buy fireworks and scratch off tickets, like I've always wanted to do with my life. The truth is, at the time of writing this article, my 18th birthday is almost over and I only have a few more hours left of the day to reflect on the rest of my life as a responsible member of society.

During my family party, while everyone was in my living room laughing and telling stories, I took a personal hour to sit in my room and think, which I really shouldn't have done but I'm kind of happy I did. The thing was, during the celebration, my mood shifted from happy and excited to kind of gloomy and quiet. I didn't really know why, so I took time to myself to process everything.

I'm excited to take on the rest of my adult years and actually work to make a difference in the world. Now I can go off and do my own thing and be somewhere where I actually feel like I belong. In a few more months, I won't be forced to do anything I don't want to do, because now that I'm an adult, I have the right to say no. I can do and be whatever I please because of a title handed to me on the day I reached the age of 18.

But behind the anticipation in my eyes lies a layer of fear, and it's there for the exact reason why the excitement is there. Nothing is holding me back anymore, which also means that nothing is holding me back from messing up and ruining my life. No one is holding my hand to help me get through things because now that I'm an adult, I'm expected to handle it on my own. I now have so many more responsibilities than I ever wanted, and there are so many expectations set on me that it's overwhelming. And even though the thought of having to make my own doctor's appointment is scary in itself, it's so much more than that. My life is now completely in my hands, so what am I supposed to do with it? I don't know the answer, but since I'm a legal adult, people think I do.

But the reality is, I've been preparing for adulthood for basically my entire life, especially in high school, so I doubt I'm going to mess everything up to the point of no return. Even so, as a chronic worry wart, it's still a thought I can't stop myself from having. All I can do is keep my head up and believe everything is going to be alright, because let's be real, I've been an adult for less than 24 hours. I'll be just fine, I hope.