I recently went through a break up and ever since I have been going through a phase of self-empowerment. While I was in the relationship I felt like I could not do better because I was not good enough for anyone else, so I settled. When I got out of it I realized how amazing I truly am and that I did deserve better. After this realization, I decided to get rid of some of the habits that made me feel less than perfect. One of those habits was self-deprecation. I would constantly make negative remarks about myself whether it was to seem humble or because I really felt that way, and soon enough I began to believe myself. Self-deprecating is so harmful, and there are many reasons why it should not be done.
I further saw how harmful self- deprecation is about a couple months ago. I'm on the rowing team and my friend was taking pictures of some of the girls at practice. She was looking through the photos and found some really cute ones. When she showed the girls their pictures she complimented them telling them that they looked good, but every girl made a self-deprecating remark about how they looked weird or did not like the way their thighs looked, etc. This really got my attention. I do not know whether they were trying to be modest or whether they really felt that way about themselves, but either way, it is really harmful.
For starters, it upsets me that most girls believe they are not allowed to accept compliments without seeming cocky. Men accept compliments all the time and even add to them which is considered self-confidence. However, some women have been taught that people will consider them prideful if they do not deny a compliment.
I am also saddened if a woman self-deprecates because she has poor self-image and believes the remarks about herself. Society has certainly been hard on women telling them they have to look and dress a certain way and the fads continually change making it hard for any women to feel like she fits in. It is disheartening to see someone who is told they are beautiful fire back harmful remarks about themselves.
The worst part about self-deprecation is that is can cause a chain reaction. After all, I learned to self-deprecate by hearing the girls around me do it. I still remember being in 9th grade and a friend talking about how fat she was since she was a size 0 not 00. I then remarked about how fat I was being a 7/8, which then made another friend say that she was really fat since she was size 12. One self-deprecating remark led three beautiful and perfectly healthy girls to believe they were fat.
Self-deprecation needs to stop. It can not only lead you to feel bad about yourself, but others as well. I am not perfect and occasionally I slip and make a harmful remark towards myself, but I have gotten a lot better at accepting compliments, even giving them to myself. Next time someone calls you beautiful or tells you that your hair looks good, a simple "Thank you" or "I know" will suffice.
