I’ve never been raped. I’ve never been molested. I’ve never been touched in a way that made me feel severely disrespected, ashamed or insecure with myself. I’ve never experienced what the victim did as she stared into the Stanford swimmer’s face in court. I’ve never experienced any of this, and I pray to God I never will. As much as I would like to think praying would take away my concern and fear of sexual assault occurring, that’s just naïve wishful thinking. It’s just not the reality we live in today. And that’s absolutely terrifying.
It’s impossible to escape the news of the Stanford swimmer’s rape of this beautiful, innocent woman. I don’t know her and I never will, but I know well enough that this is something that happens in places that are not just Stanford, attacked not by swimmers, and women are not just the victims — everyone is affected.
It’s a terrifying thought that if I choose to have a drink with my girlfriends during our girl's night that I have to cover my drink with my hand to make sure someone doesn’t put a pill in it so I black out. It’s terrifying that I can’t walk home alone during the evening on my campus because I’m afraid of being approached and harassed by someone while I’m just trying to get to bed after a day of studying for finals. It’s terrifying to think that one day I may be a victim to sexual assault. And what’s worse, it won’t be my fault. It won’t be because I drank too much, or I wore something scandalous, or I was “asking for it.” I could one day be a victim of sexual assault because of someone else.
Isn’t it sad that young women are told to “be careful” because if we put ourselves in a “bad situation” we’ll get “taken advantage of”? Why don’t we just tell people not to rape? Isn’t that easier than constantly telling young people to watch out for the bad when you can just teach someone to not attack a man or woman who just wants to go home safely and call their mom or dad and tell them that they’re home safe — that they’re OK?
I’ve never been touched in that way, but I’ve seen how sexual assault has affected those around me. I hope to one day walk home by myself in the dark wearing whatever the hell I please and not fear what could happen to me. I hope one day people can understand that “no” means absolutely not, and just because you go to a nice school, drive a nice car, have daddy write a statement that makes it into the press because you attacked an innocent woman, does not mean you are anything more than what you are; a rapist.
For all you men and women who are fighting through, I hope to one day have half the courage, confidence and grace that you do. You are truly the survivors.
