I'm sure the majority of us have had our hearts broken by someone we were not in love with. Saying it out loud sounds kind of funny because the typical "heartbreak" doesn't usually include a person you're not head over heels in love with. My story does, and what I've learned about this unspoken, odd kind of heartbreak, is that it hurts just as much as the other kind, if not tremendously more.

The man who broke my heart was my very best friend. Even saying that sentence out loud makes me angry. I almost don't feel he deserves the title-or ever did. You don't get to be there for someone at every important, gut-wrenching, wonderful, awful stage of their life and one day decide to never be apart of it again. I can't imagine doing it to anyone I ever truly cared for.

And I know he truly cared for me.

It has been two years since this man broke my heart. In that time frame, I got a new job, a promotion at work, I had blogs I wrote go viral, I've had loved ones pass and new members to the family, added...so much of my life has happened in these two years and yet one of the most important people to me, will never know.

He won't know the day I graduate college and receive my degree. No, he won't even be there.

He won't get to meet my children one day, or talk with me about our favorite show (our show).

He won't get to watch me meet the goal I've been striving for.

Hell, he didn't even know the goal I was striving for.

This is what happens when your best friend breaks your heart.

I was not in love with this man like I am my boyfriend. Yes, this is a thing. You can form a connection with someone of the opposite sex, and not feel the urge to jump into bed with them or want more. I know first hand that this is possible, and once you find a connection like this, losing it is even worse than wondering if it was at all possible.

You can imagine what happened that caused our relationship to fail. My boyfriend trusted us, but his girlfriend didn't. The insecurities and dangerous thoughts managed to destroy a relationship so special to me, and there's not a damn thing I could possibly do about it. Nothing would save it no matter how hard I tried.

All relationships are two-sided. I couldn't possibly put in the work for us both because eventually one of us would fall short. We reached a point for the both of us where it hurt more to hold on than it did to let go. Each day that goes by, I start to remember less and less of what we had. Part of me is grateful for that, but the other part of me hurts something fierce. I look through old pictures of us, and stare at this man who I can see so clearly cares for me. He's someone who had my very best intentions in mind, and not a day goes by where I don't want to tell him I'm doing okay because even if him and his girlfriend don't want to admit it-I know he still wonders.

So does a heartbreak ever really mend when it comes to a friendship? I guess it is similar to a relationship because I believe-and always have-that if the feelings are real, then you don't ever get over someone you loved. You can find a new person to patch your heart, but at the end of the day their will always be scars left from the person who put them there.

In my honest opinion, I don't think my heart will ever be how it was before I met this man. I've learned to accept that, and in this odd, surreal sort of way, I've even learned to be grateful for it. I know now that a relationship with a man and a woman doesn't have to be sexual, but it can be pure, honest, good, and kind. I'm stuck between feeling sorry for myself that this amazing ride was cut short, to being in awe that it actually got to happen for me. Not everyone gets to find a soulmate in a friend, but for a brief time, I'm lucky enough to say I did.

To the man who broke my heart, my friend..

I forgive you. I know you, and I know your good heart. I'm sure deciding to end our friendship wasn't easy for you. I spent so long going over every reason why I should be mad at you, when I never got to tell you how sorry I was for the part of the friendship that you lost as well.

In case anyone didn't get to tell you today, like I always use to,

You are awesome.

You are loved.

You're going to do great things.

And you will always have a friend in me.