It is 4 a.m. right now, and I lay restless in bed unable to get to sleep. I move my legs around searching for a new place of comfort. I roll from my side to my stomach then flip to my back before deciding to lay still in the strange dark with my eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. My body is worn, but my mind is wide open. The thoughts that I have tried to suppress for so long keep regurgitating, leaving me restless and weary. The anxiety of today, the anxiety of tomorrow, and the pain of yesterday. I am entirely taken over by this monster that carries no name. In time, I just wrap my arms around my pillow trying to bury my eyes closed in it. But the effort is futile.

I have tried everything that people have suggested for ways of fighting insomnia. I have tried yoga and relaxing music, exercise to wear my body out and changing my habits before bedtime to make sure my mind isn't at all stimulated. These methods have not worked for me. I have even tried taking melatonin pills before bed to force sleep, but all that does is force my body to shut down while leaving my brain to wonder around aimlessly inside myself.

I like to think of insomnia like the Disney movie inside out. My brain would probably be run by fear. The anxiety would swell up inside of me leaving me unable to process any other emotion. My brain runs fast yet slow at the same time. Any emotion that I have ever felt is fair game. It is going to be a long night.

According to WebMD, insomnia is characterized by a few different symptoms. Insomnia is the inability to fall asleep, waking up multiple times in the night, waking up too soon, and waking up feeling tired and irritable. It can be caused by a multitude of factors from everything like depression and anxiety to a symptom of some medications. It can last for a short a small amount of time or it can be chronic.

Most people with insomnia are self-diagnosed. A doctor may ask for them to do things like changing up their habits or keeping a sleep journal. A few months ago, I got a Fitbit. Of course, I was interested in the exercise portion of this, but the idea of a sleep tracker also really appealed to me. When I started looking at my sleep log, it was showing me waking up multiple times a night and only getting an average of four hours of sleep a night (Yes, I do know that these aren't entirely accurate). I will admit that I am a college student who enjoys staying up late talking on the phone to my friends, but even when I am trying to get to sleep at a decent time, it usually doesn't happen.

I lay here in bed rolling from left to right trying to quiet my mind. My mind has so much to say but nowhere to go. I feel like my go to phrase with sleep is 'five more minutes.' Anytime that my alarm goes off or I need to go anywhere, it never fails that I have an internal battle with myself. Do I need to get up now or can I go five more minutes? Right now, I lay in bed with the restless shouting in my head begging to be noticed. My body says sleep, but my insomnia refuses to give up. Insomnia is that restless shouting in the dark just begging to be noticed, lay here and just think about me. Give me five more minutes.