If you know me, you probably know to some extent that I've experienced chronic pain/illness since September 2010. I have certainly had difficulties due to these health problems, but overall I consider myself blessed to have been through these struggles as they make me stronger and bolder and more willing and able to advocate for those in the same boat as me health-wise.
There are two songs I would consider to be anthems for me in regards to my life in general, but in particular, my health issues: "Fighter" (Jamie Grace) and "Storyteller" (Morgan Harper Nichols with Jamie Grace). I have seen several YouTube videos of Jamie Grace talking about her personal struggles with health, including dealing with Tourette Syndrome, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety, asthma, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Hearing some of her story about living with multiple chronic illnesses and how she has become more courageous, more compassionate, and closer to the Lord through all of it has greatly inspired me to do the same.
Some of my personal struggles include stomach problems, dizziness/lightheadedness, depression, anxiety, headaches, migraines, and slow processing speed.
When my stomach problems were at their worst (during my 7th grade year), I could eat very little (at times there were literally only 1-2 foods I would ever eat because just the thought of anything else would make the nausea hit me hard). Slowly but surely I expanded to eating more and more foods; I am eating most foods again now that I could eat before, but I still have to be careful because the wrong type of food or too much/too little of something could cause the stomach pains to come back.
When the dizziness/lightheadedness was at its worst (end of my freshman year through sophomore year), I would randomly get incredibly dizzy, sometimes nearly passing out, not being able to walk on my own, not being able to think clearly. It would hit me at random times, sometimes for several hours or even an entire day at a time.
My depression and anxiety have been off and on but I have battled suicidal thoughts, I have self-harmed (cutting and skipping meals), I have had severe panic attacks. Through the help of medicine and counseling, I have been able to get past the worst of depression and anxiety, thankfully; I still have hard days, but even those days are relatively good in comparison to how I was at my worst.
The headaches and migraines have been chronic since the end of my sophomore year. At the worst part of that (during my junior year), I would have a migraine for 3-4 days straight and a regular headache the rest of the week. I'm not sure how many weeks exactly it was like this, but it was every week for a long time. It was usually really difficult to think straight, to comprehend even the simplest things, I lost a lot of sleep (migraines would often keep me up all night long or wake me up early). It wasn't uncommon for me to suddenly need to go to the bathroom to throw up. This usually would get rid of the pain, but not always - sometimes I would still be experiencing head pain and nausea for the next week or so. Sometimes the pain would make me dizzy, unable to get work done, and/or unable to do anything besides rest in a dark, silent room. Thankfully, I recently had an MRI done that showed what has been causing the pain, and with that knowledge the pain should hopefully be ending or at least lessening very soon.
And last but not least, the one I most recently learned about...slow processing speed. My mom actually heard about this before me and read a book and watched some videos about it, and was wondering if maybe I had this condition. Basically, the brain of someone with slow processing speed functions in such a way that the person, whether they want to or not, has to go through life slowly. Work is done slowly; the person functions best when they are treated patiently and kindly, with minimal pressure. Those with a Type A personality tend to be more impatient and put a lot of pressure on people, so especially for someone like me with slow processing speed, it is essential that those around us keep in mind the very real condition we have and treat us with kindness, even if that doesn't come naturally.
If you know someone with any sort of chronic pain or illness, be it mental or physical, please be patient with them. Show them love. You can't love their condition away, but you can love them through it and walk the journey alongside them, helping them and encouraging them as they need it. Don't tell them they aren't doing enough or that they haven't prayed hard enough or tried the right diet or exercised enough; gently and kindly suggest something like a diet or exercise that may benefit them, but keep in mind that a lot of people have probably already talked to them about that same thing, and hearing the same thing over and over--especially if we know it won't get us anywhere--can be exhausting and frustrating. One of the best things you could say to someone with some chronic health condition is, "Wow, you're so brave for facing that every single day. I'd love to learn more. Do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't, but I will be here to listen anytime you want to talk about it."
Sometimes, we don't want to be told how to feel better in 3 easy steps, or about a treatment that worked for someone else with a similar - but still different - condition. Sometimes, we just want to see someone genuinely cares, and is more interested in us as people than the knowledge it takes to get us healthy again.
If you have no clue what to say to someone dealing with one or more chronic health problems, admitting that you are clueless is so much better than trying to come up with something you think might be good. Of course we are open to advice, encouragement, and potential remedies. Just be mindful of the fact that we are facing something incredibly difficult and often have to fight a daily battle that is exhausting beyond comprehension. What is most important is that you care, and if you show that you care, that means the world to us.
I've been sick for a long time, that's for sure, and I would really like to feel better and be healed at last. But what's more important than that is that I continue becoming a stronger Fighter and a braver Storyteller, day by day, and if that means continuing to face these health issues, then bring it on--I believe with all my heart that the fight is worth it.
