Something strange happened when I was 13. Suddenly it was being preached to dislike yourself. It was the norm to believe negative views were acceptable to have regarding your appearance. It was okay to use hatred to belittle you. It has never felt correct to announce that you think your beauty is worthy of your own appreciation. It has never rendered possible to acknowledge it. We were drowning in our own state of disapproval. We built a society that cultivates negativity and doesn't spread love. It was so easy to say, "I hate myself," and be washed away in the waves of self-pity. But, if you want to share love and acceptance, you have to start with yourself.
Something enlightening happened when I was 18. Despite the fact that I haven't grown out of my crooked nose, dark circles, deep red lightning scars lining my skin, I am proud of the body I stand in. I am proud of my imperfect uneven eyebrows, I admire my unmanageable mane of hair, I appreciate my figure, despite it's contrast to what I see being called perfect all around me.
Recently there was a morning where I woke up and was surprised to see that I actually quite liked how I looked without any makeup. I tried to state, "I know this sounds weird, but I like my face today." And then I stopped myself. Why does that sound weird? Why is it not okay for me to say that? My brain has been wired to think I'm so far away from what we deem beautiful. But I didn't realize the reason for that distance was that I placed myself so far away on the spectrum of beauty that I made it impossible to come close. I had to change my perception. You have to grow into this new view of thinking, why can't I think this? Who is stopping me? Our freedom of self-love has been limited and constricted by the minds of people who want to control us. Do not let anyone take your right away to find yourself completely badass, righteously, impeccably, wondrously beautiful. It is okay to like who you are, and it is encouraged to embrace it. Start living for you. Start accepting compliments. Start exercising confidence, start smiling more, and stop trying to fit into someone else's mold and instead start realizing there is a place in the world for you to be you if you just let it happen and try to accept yourself gradually and eventually, it will arise. Suddenly there will be this unexpected aura around you of hope and happiness you never even knew existed. You will embody so much positivity; you would never even know how you spent so much time believing you were not enough.
At 18, I realized at 13, I was wrong.
