When you google the definition of the word "family," the first definition that pops up is, "a group of people living together, consisting of parents and children living together in a household." This definition makes me picture the Brady Bunch, a fictional blended family portrayed on TV. The problem with this image is that it is fictional, there is no family in the world like the Brady Bunch and there honestly probably will never be one in the future. "Why?" you might ask. This is because families are dysfunction, commotion, arguments and most importantly, love.
According to fosterclub.com, in 2014 there were over 400,000 children in foster care. This number is enough to fill the Michigan Stadium, the largest football stadium in America four times. That breaks my heart a million times. Children especially need a strong family unit. Whether that be biological family, blended, or adoptive, families are the single most important social group to a child's development.
In one of my classes this past semester, social psychology, we learned a lot about why people do what they do. One of the main factors that fueled people's actions, whether bad or good, were how they grew up or things that they witnessed their parents doing. In some cases of domestic and/or sexual violence, the attacker attributed their actions to things that had been done to them during their youth. I did not state that to justify their actions, rather to shine the light on the fact that things from our past do not just go away with time.
Families are the building blocks of our society. They are our first cliques. We share certain attributes with them, for a certain amount of time they are the people that we spend the majority of our time with and other than special occasions we don't really interact personally with other groups of people. Humans innately have this need to be connected. This is shown even at birth when infants make "the nipple crawl" to latch onto their mother not only for nourishment but because the baby is used to the scent of the amniotic fluid, which is similar to the scent of breast milk. From this initial show of affection, the baby is able to associate this smell with being safe, warm and full. Without a family affiliation, children tend to cling to people that do not always have their best intentions in mind. An example would be gang affiliation, often times in documentaries gang members express that the gang is the only "family" they know. From the outside looking in, one can easily pass judgement and ridicule this irrational way of thinking. However, to someone from a broken home or foster care, this truly is their family for the simple fact that they have never known anything different. After the age of the onset of puberty, changing this mindset is very difficult.
Family is not always the people that share your same bloodline. Family to me is the people who love and care about you -- they relish in your good times with you and mourn with you. They understand your heart and love you for who you truly are.
I would like to dedicate this to the people that mean the absolute world to me -- my little family. Mom, you're my entire world, truly a diamond among costume jewelry. Kisha, your heart is just as beautiful as you are on the outside. Cocoa, your strength is your crown. Dee, your joy in life can brighten up a room. Adrian, your carefree attitude can make any situation feel light. Jameila, your honesty makes you more radiant than the sun. Marty, your drive will take you as far as you want to go. To my closest friends, Zabi and Rae, you are the two sisters that my mother did not birth, but blood could not make our bonds any stronger.
Family, I love you.
