What happened to relationship standards? I’m serious. Someone tell me where we, as a generation, put them. Because the clichés of writing letters or making a phone call to your significant other are officially a thing of the past.

These simple, loving actions have been replaced by the newly “acceptable” standards such as dating multiple people at once, requesting inappropriate photos, or snooping through your significant other’s phone. When did these behaviors become acceptable? When did we lose the ability to talk to one another on a phone or trust the person we are in a relationship with?

During a conversation with my boyfriend, we were talking about what we like most about the other person. He told me one of his favorite traits about me is the fact that I communicate clearly. With me, he never has to worry that what I am saying is not what I actually mean and he knows I’ll speak up if something is wrong or if I am not happy. I told him that I like how readily he opens up to me and that he is confident enough in both himself and the relationship to share how he feels.

The problem is that there’s a stereotype that women are supposed to be complex, confusing creatures and that everything we say is the opposite of what we mean. In addition, men are supposed to maintain a masculine persona and never talk about when something bothers them or express too much emotion. When you have individuals that are viewed in such a way, they don’t feel they can communicate clearly and relationship issues arise quickly.

As a result, problems such as cheating and snooping become the usual rather than the exception.

During my relationship, we have both gone through the highest highs and the lowest lows. Throughout all of it, I don’t believe there was ever a time when either of us thought that we had to keep to ourselves because the other person wouldn't understand. And therein lies what I believe is the inherent problem in our generation: the fear of the other person not understanding.

We have such a fear of being alone or not having an emotion felt in return that we’d prefer to keep things to ourselves or have more than on significant other rather than have frank conversations with our crushes or loved ones.

It’s so important to bring your fears into a relationship along with all the positive things because they are all a part of what makes you, yourself. If you are suspicious of your significant other dating behind you back, talk to them about it instead of looking through their phone. If you’re worried about the ramifications of opening up to someone, do your best to explain your perspective rather than get frustrated when the other person doesn’t understand.

Of course, it won’t always go perfectly and I can’t promise that the other person is always going to understand. However, a relationship that ends because of honesty is better than a relationship that continues due to silence and deception.

I’m not going to claim that my relationship is perfect but when I see pictures or stories on Facebook or Twitter of people snooping through phones, cheating, being cheated on, or lying in relationships, I know those are things I don’t worry about because of our clear communication. I highly recommend that anyone in a relationship at least try to break down some walls and build on their communication.