And as a follow-up to my previous post, it's officially cuffing season and I'm officially still single (surprised?). Nonetheless, I am going to carry on, continue to be myself, and know that eventually my time will come. However, I still enjoy fantasizing about relationships that have yet to happen (and probably never will) but I have come to a pretty interesting conclusion: fantasy relationships are, in many ways, better than real ones. And I have figured out many reasons why:
1. In your head, anything can happen.
With my own imagination, I can make my relationships with whomever I want and control exactly what happens. I enjoy creating my own scenarios more than dealing with the ones that are actually right in front of me (because, let's face it, who doesn't?). So let's keep on fantasizing!
2. There's no responsibilities.
I can only tune into this imaginary relationship when it's convenient for me. It's very convenient when I'm sitting in a boring lecture. It's not so convenient when I'm drowning in exams. I have no obligation to spend time with figments of my own mind--it's all up to me!
3. I have the right to be fickle.
In reality, I'm actually not a very fickle person and I become hung up on people. However, if I am interested in somebody on Sunday and suddenly interested in someone else on Monday, there's no moral reasons why I can't have a new relationship with a new person the next day.
4. My mind is my own privacy.
Isn't so much better to place yourself in relationships without anyone really knowing what's going on? You can have this imaginary lover in peace, without gossip running rampant about what's going on.
5. No side chicks.
"The girl he told you not to worry about" doesn't actually exist--unless, of course, you want her to (but no one does). The guy in your head is faithful to you and treats you as though you are his everything. You don't get frightened by the suspicious texts from Becky or his encounter with Jenna at the party last Friday.
6. I can be as cryptic or as open about it as I want to be.
It's always fun to covertly tell your friends about these fantasies. You can tell them but not really tell them and leave them guessing and wondering. You can give subtle clues and a few hints here and there, but overall, you can share what you want to share and leave the rest in the secrecy of your mind.
7. I can make myself experience the "butterfly" sensations of a relationship on demand.
In real relationships, you feel butterflies at certain points but certainly not at others. In fantasy relationships, if you are in the mood to experience that rush of happiness, you can feel it. You just imagine the most perfect scene, and alas, you get the same sensation as those with actual boyfriends and girlfriends.
8. What arguments?
It's never fun to be in a fight with somebody and then get cold-shouldered and then figure out who should apologize and then wonder about the fate of the relationship. In your head, all of this nonsense vanishes and you can experience perpetual happiness with your imaginary lover.
9. I actually build up self-confidence.
Believe it or not, for me personally, if I can really imagine a relationship happening with someone, I start to believe it actually can (even if there are so many reasons it won't work out). In turn, I begin acting as though I believe in myself, I forget about all my doubts, and I actually appear more confident to the person himself. Who doesn't like somebody confident?
10. Heartbreak who?
Ahhh, the heartbreak--the biggest downside to a relationship. None of us like having our heart broken (or having to console someone else through a heartbreak for that matter). Lucky for us who are still fantasizing, we never have to experience this pain and our hearts remain intact.
11. I can still talk about it if I want to!
We know how much many people in relationships enjoy talking about their relationships. But in all honesty, it can be equally as fun to talk about the relationships we want and the relationships we envision. So we can keep dreaming and still have a conversation we can start with our friends.
12. What better way to pass the time?
From experience, these thoughts were an amazing way to pass the time when I worked as a cashier and business was slow (talk about BORING). Now, when I'm stuck in a boring lecture that I didn't even need to attend, I can still pass the time with these thoughts. I can testify that time does pass much quicker.
13. Real relationships take work. Fantasy ones do not.
Everyone emphasizes how it's tough to work through differences in a relationship and try to problem-solve. Problem-solving? Never heard of her. Experiencing similar feelings that accompany a relationship without the HARD WORK of it sounds pretty appealing to me.
14. Mental breakups are so easy.
Breaking up is always the hard part and it can be painful to be the "breaker-upper" (if that's even a word). But in your head, dumping a person and moving on is simple and there is much less pain (and much fewer tears). The hardest part of a relationship becomes so easy.
15. You can still focus on YOU!
You don't have to worry about making any sacrifices to anyone else and you feel free to be yourself. You don't owe anybody anything and you can express yourself in any way you choose until fantasy becomes a reality. And when you continue to focus on yourself, you will find somebody who loves you exactly the way you are.
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