Relationships are cute, I guess. At the beginning of the relationship, the couple will be in the "cupcake phase," which makes me want to vomit. "Hey babe, want to share this Coke with me?" "I love you so much. NO WAY, I LOVE YOU MORE." - cut that shit out, please. Eventually, the bros/ hoes want to know who is taking you away from the Saturdays and why you are not going out looking like a tramp. As time passes, and the stupid social media posts are made, ya friends realize what is going on and want to meet your lover.

I get nervous bringing my man around because bitches are judgmental. "He's ugly." "What do you see in him?" Honey, get your own partner and lemme judge him real quick. Check yourself! But, have you ever met a friend and just thought they were hot? Like maybe hotter than your partner? It's okay to admit it, and it is okay to look - just do not get caught.

My ex had a pretty good looking crew, not a single one was scary to the eye - but, the best friend... SNACK. When I dated my ex I was socially awkward around people I did not know. When I met the family, yikes. I needed another shirt because I was so sweaty - gross sis. When he would introduce me to his friends, bigger yikes. What do you even say to these strangers? "Uh, hi - I am a girl?" What!? But, my awkwardness disappeared quickly once my ex and I had an EXCITING break-up.

What can I say? I was a little lonely, and was willing to give anyone some TLC - ya picking up what I'm putting down? So, my ex's best friend hit my line up - no judgement. This was the FIRST time I have actually spoken to this guy without my ex being present. He was cool, calm, and collected. We exchanged a few jokes and then went on about our day.

It was not long before I had that awkward makeup sex, with my ex, that had no meaning. Hello ya hoe, what are you doing? I did it, and ladies there is nothing wrong with going back down that path with ya old pal. Anyway, the feeling was not there anymore - so I asked my ex to leave. Let me explain, I had purchased a hotel room for my ex and me to get freaky - I was not about to waste that cash. So, my sleazy ass hit up the best friend.

I thought this was all going to end up being some joke - I am ugly, this hot best friend is not going to show.

"Knock, knock" - OH SHIT!!!!

I opened the door in pajamas, towel hair, and some slumpy tee - what are you doing!? To my surprise, it was the best friend. THE BEST FRIEND. We never spoke face to face, I literally had a stranger in the room with me. So, what did I do? I looked at this boy and without hesitation said, "Are we going to fuck or not?" Yeah... BIG BIG YIKES.

I ruined a friendship. I cut it with scissors, grabbed a match, and lit that friendship up like the fireworks displayed on the 4th of July. While this was not a proud moment in my life, it happened and that experience helped me break from my shell. I am so open about my life, it is frightening. I will express my feelings with anyone, blast my opinion, and make sure my presence is known. I know I am judged for what happened, but I own up to my mistakes and will never be upset about something that happened in the past. My ex was not perfect, neither was I, but that best friend was something close to perfect.