I will never forget the day I had to take off my cleats for the last time. It was all extremely surreal. After the final call was made, it hit me like a train — "I’m not an athlete anymore..."

The lights shining down like beams of light were all the sudden blinding. The dirt below my feet where I had spent years of my life would no longer recognize my footprints. Sweaty hugs of my teammates pushed against my chest. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. Shivers went down my spine watching the other team in their glorious celebrations of success.

It all took a while to process, but when it finally did, it was one tough pill to swallow — "I’m not an athlete anymore…”

In the weeks and months that followed, I struggled with self identity issues. I had been playing this game since I was 5-years-old, and suddenly, it was gone. I was no longer the prideful student-athlete that I once was. I was “normal.” It was the most bittersweet, confusing time of my life.

I was given newly found freedom of doing whatever I want, whenever I wanted to do it. I never had to worry about mandatory 5 a.m. workouts, or four hour practices. I could stay up all night with my friends. I could skip class without a coach getting angry at me. But, in all of my new-found fun, I struggled to find who I was outside of athletics. It was hard for me to not have a set group of friends that used to be my teammates.

When I took off my jersey for the last time and left the ballpark, my life changed dramatically. But, to my surprise, my life did not end. When I drove away from the field that night, a different life started.

But still, the words haunted me - “I’m not an athlete anymore…”

Surely but slowly, I began to realize It’s physically impossible to play a sport for your entire life in peak condition. I spent 15 years of my life being an athlete, and for those 15 years, that is how I perceived myself. But, I now have the opportunity to explore not only my physical capabilities, but my creative, social, and spiritual boundaries are as well. All things that will stick with my for my entire life.

The game will always be a little piece of the puzzle to my heart. I will still get goosebumps thinking about my successes, and some failures will forever boil my blood. The sound of cleats walking on cement will continue to be music to my ears, and the memories remain crystal clear with some of my best friends.

I will always smile thinking about my memories in playing sports, and be forever grateful for what sports taught me, and how they made me into who I am today.

Although the game shaped me and my personality, there is more to who I am. I am a student, friend, daughter, and future coach.

The day I hung up my cleats will always be a day that changed my life.