In February, the movie "How to Be Single," featuring Rebecca Johnson, Rebel Wilson, and Leslie Mann, was released. Similarly to "New Year's Eve" and "Valentine's Day," it follows the characters' lives through " learn[ing] how to be single in a world filled with ever-evolving definitions of love," according to imdb.com. After watching this movie and going through a breakup of my own a few months earlier, I realized that I don't know how to be single. I went from having a high school boyfriend to another serious boyfriend who followed me into my freshman year of college.
Being single is becoming harder and harder, especially as we all get older and we search for that "one" we're supposed to end up with. Social media is plagued with happy relationships, engagements, pregnancies, and families, and that reminds us single people of things we don't have; it's not necessarily a bad thing but it makes it harder to know that you could have that, but you don't. But we'll eventually get there. Until then, here are six ways to be single.
1. Do whatever you want to
Do you want to cry yourself to sleep and eat a gallon of ice cream? Do it. Do you want to wallow in self pity? Do it. Do you want to move on? Do it. Do you want to just rebound with the next person you meet? Do it. Do you want to chill with your friends? Do it. Whatever you decide you want to do, just do it (and try not to get arrested!)
2. Discover yourself
This is probably the best thing about being single because you can make whatever decisions you want with only yourself in mind. You don't have to worry about how your decision will effect your S.O. or your relationship. That being said, make whatever decisions you want to be able to discover who you are and what you want out of life, and while you figure that, go out and have the experiences you want in your life.
3. Discover what type of relationship you want
Being single gives you a lot of time to reflect on what has gone wrong in your past relationships. Did your S.O. do something? Did you do something? Were either of you unhappy? Did you get what you wanted out of the relationship? Did either of you want something more or less? You get to look back on your relationships and determine what you need in future relationships.
4. Determine what you're looking for in a partner
Just like with the relationship, you get to determine what you want in a partner. Do you like someone who has a lot in common with you, or someone who is the total opposite? Do you want someone who is romantic frequently? Do you need someone to make big gestures, or do the little things count? Do you want someone who wants marriage or kids? Everyone has a "perfect" partner in their mind, built of things that you found yourself wishing your other S.O.'s had or did. Reflecting on what you want in a partner helps find out who you need to be with, who you can't be with, and will help you develop to be that perfect partner for your perfect partner. How do you see perfect if you don't know what it is?
5. Don't look for love
Spend time actually being single. Don't try to bounce from one relationship to another; give yourself to emotionally heal or prepare for the next relationship. By being single, you get to develop yourself. You can reinvent yourself to who you really want to be in life, and when you're really ready for love, it'll find you. If you're constantly searching for the next big love of your life and thinking that anyone could be the next big thing, you're likely to miss the real thing.
6. Spend quality time with friends
When you're not in a relationship, you have all the time in the world to spend with your friends. They're the ones who will help keep your mind off your breakup, your ex, a dry spell, being single, everything. They're the ones to help you achieve your goals and join you on your journeys for the life experiences you want.
I feel like, in the world that we live in, we don't know how to be single. We always want to be in constant communication with someone and feel attention; we want to feel loved and wanted. Learning how to navigate through life isn't easy, and doing it alone makes it lonely and difficult. But by learning how to be single and navigate on your own, you're likely to have a better journey.
Have fun being single, ladies and gents.