Let's face it — we're a bit to blame when it comes to our own single-ness. If we actively choose to be single, that says it in itself, but when we're looking and casually dating and failing, we may begin to blame everyone else. The truth of that matter is, we have ourselves to blame a bit as well and in all honesty, here are 17 reasons we're still single, whether we want to be or not.
1. You're still hung up on your ex.
Sister, it's hard to find love again when your heart is still stuck in the past. No one is going to want to be with the girl who brings up her ex twenty minutes into a date, or at all.
2. The only place you look for potential new partners is a dating app.
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid...it doesn't matter what your app of choice is, if that's where you do all your searching it's no surprise you're still single. If we're being honest, dating apps have done nothing more than complicate the dating scene further for twenty-somethings.
3. You bail on every date you have last minute.
You know you're guilty of agreeing to hang out with someone (whether it's just a Netflix session or a planned-out date) and then bailing last minute because you got nervous, had something come up, or just simply didn't want to go. What if that could've been the relationship you've been searching for? Bailing last minute is no one's fault but your own.
4. Whenever you meet a nice, quality person you decide you'd much rather just be friends with them.
You know you've done this before. You meet someone who is actually interested in getting to know you, who wants to take you on nice dates, who isn't just going to hit it and quit it...and you only see them as a friend. Why?!
5. You're honestly not even sure if you want a relationship right now.
It's hard to find something if you can't even be honest with yourself, and others, about what you're looking for...
6. You really don't go out much.
The love of your life isn't just going to show up knocking on your doorstep. You have to actually go out and find them, or let them find you. That can't happen when you honestly can't remember the last time you went out.
7. And when you do, you're either a total wallflower or you get so drunk no one can have a serious conversation with you.
Yikes. You gotta find that happy medium for anyone to want to talk to you.
8. You're too picky.
Listen, having standards is important, but a lot of have them way too high. Your partner probably isn't going to fit every little criteria you have set for them, just accept it.
9. You're too obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship.
Ever notice how the hopelessly romantic, relationship-obsessed people tend to be single? Yep, me too. If you're so in love with the idea of being in love, you spend way too much time focusing on all that your relationship could become and not enough in the other areas of your life that need some focus.
10. You try to move too fast.
Look. I don't think talking to someone for a week and then declaring your love for them is the best idea, but what do I know.
11. You're only interested in people that fit your "type."
If they're not the tall, dark, and handsome you've always dreamed of (or whatever else your type entails), you're not interested. Because of this, you're probably passing up potential partners that could be all sorts of amazing.
12. You give up too easily.
When faced with even the slightest bit of conflict, you decide to let it all go. Stop doing that! Relationships take a lot of work, time, and effort. It isn't going to come to you easily.
13. You're too busy for one.
Your 20's are a busy time. You're working, you're a student, or you're doing both in addition to trying to balance yourself and your relationships. Maybe the real reason you're single is because you just don't have the time.
14. You have unrealistic expectations.
If you think relationships are going to be a walk in the park filled with all the butterflies and rainbows that your favorite rom-com has taught you, you have another thing coming. If you think your dream partner is always going to treat you right, you have another thing coming. Don't let your unrealistic expectations for relationships become your downfall.
15. You have sex with potential partners too soon.
If you put out too soon they'll probably leave. Simple as that. I hate to get so down to the point, but once you learn this it will save you in the long run. Almost every time you have sex with partners early on, they turn it all to a sex thing and not to a thing that feels like it can be based in something else.
16. You have shitty friends.
When you date someone, you become fully immersed in their friend group. Maybe your friends are too catty or just plain shitty that the people you're dating don't stick around because they can't see themselves actively hanging out with this group of people all the time. Even more the reason to be picky when it comes to your friendships.
17. And maybe your family isn't the greatest, either.
Just like your friend group, sometimes your family can be your downfall. Ever notice how after you have the "meet the parents" dinner your relationship falls flat?