I've always been the type of person who gets along with most people, and as a bubbly social butterfly who loves to get to know people, I often am told "Yeah but Kayla, you're friends with everyone."

Even if that's how it may seem on the outside, people never really consider if it may not be that way on the inside.

Yes, maybe I am 'friendly' with everyone, but in reality, who I consider my close friends have always been a bit of a mystery to me.

I tend to care a lot about people, maybe more than people know or care about me. And up until recently, I never really gave much thought as to how I classify my different types of friendships, and where my cutoffs are between friendly, friends, close friends, or dare I say best friends. Thinking about it made me a bit confused with myself, as I'm a pretty open and honest person. Then I realized that maybe throughout the years I hadn't been honest with myself about what I wanted in a satisfying friendship.

Friendships are something that everyone has in their life.

They come in all shapes and sizes with different people form different groups, different ages, and varying lengths of how long you've known each person. You maybe have different friends for different purposes, or the same group of besties for life.

Everyone has their own set of wants and don't wants in their friends. But as you get older, your friendships should change and grow like you do.

So when is it time to re-evaluate the types of friends you want in your life, and what your expectations are?

Step #1: Figure out what YOU WANT! What are YOUR EXPECTATIONS of your friends and how you want to be treated?

• From an objective standpoint, make a mental or physical list of qualities you'd LIKE friends to possess, how you'd like them to treat you, and the expectations you have of them.

Step #2: Figure out what YOU DON'T WANT! What qualities would you DISLIKE in a friend, and what are things you expect them NOT TO DO.

• Similar to step one, make a list of things that you wouldn't like to see in a friend and things that would maybe upset you or make you feel unhappy with that person.

Step #3: THINK about your CURRENT friends AND your PAST ones

• Sort through who you have kept in your life thus far, and who you've already given the boot to. Why did you stop being friends with those people? Why are you still friends with these people? Think hard about this, and make notes of who they are and why they are/aren't in your life. Then, divide them into two different lists: current and former. If you have a gray middle area of people you aren't sure classify as one extreme or the other, make a third list with why you would consider them in the gray. Sometimes, doing this will surprise as you realize that maybe you don't know why you're still friends with people, or why you decided not be friends with people. Being objective is the key to this step. Don't get tangled in your emotions!

Step #4: Compare and contrast

• Just because someone seems like a good friend most of the time, doesn't mean that the small things can't outweigh the big. Also, just because someone may completely suck most of the time, doesn't mean that every now and then they won't make you feel great by doing something big for you. Figuring out what you value and what is okay with you to where you feel confident, happy, and cared for is super important and is going to be totally unique to you. Not everything is black and white, nor does it have to be.

Step #5: Final sorting

• After you've compared and contrasted the pros and cons of each person, as well as considered whether there are similarities and differences between that specific friendship and the others, sort them into a new finalized list. If it's the exact same you started out with, that's fine. And if it's a completely new that has you completely reeled because you have an epiphany about everyone who has ever been in your lie, that's fine too! Just make sure you are being true to yourself and being open to the possibilities rather than following your bias.

Step #6: Reach Out

• Reach out to all these people. If you think that there needs to be some mending with someone you exed off your list a while back, shoot them a text and see if anything can be changed or resolved. If you're apprehensive and questioning a friendship, re-establish the ground rules and your expectations. If they're really your friend, they'll respect what you're doing, listen to your needs, and try to help change the relationship to make it stronger and healthier. If the conversation goes sour, then there's your answer to giving them the boot. BUT, nothing will change if you don't have an open and conversation about it. Don't be afraid to do you, even if it's hard at first.

Nothing comes easy, and especially not friendships. They take blood, sweat, and tears (sometimes literally) in order to grow and last for years to come. Re-evaluating is healthy. Make room for change in your life and work towards being open to a better more supported you. Maybe by doing that the people you keep in or kick out will surprise you!