Relationships are hard; long distance relationships are even harder, especially in college. Back in high school, maintaining a relationship was a relatively straightforward task. Usually, you ended up dating someone you grew up with, or someone had gone to school with over the years, and it was easy because you could see each other every day, but what happens if you both choose different paths for college? If you decide the relationship is worth continuing, it is important to know that distance will change things, but it doesn’t have to be the end. Now keep in mind, I’m not in any way saying that I am an expert on relationships. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs and bumps along the way, but here are a few things that I have learned over the past six years in my relationship that have helped while being away at school.
First, let me start off by saying that long distance relationships can last, but you have to work at it. It is possible to go to school away from your significant other for four years and still have a thriving, healthy relationship while making the most out of your college experience. It isn’t always easy, but at the end of the day if you both put in the effort it will be worthwhile.
Communication is key
We live in a world where communication has literally become as simple as clicking a button. We have cell phones, text messaging, social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter, Skype, and so much more that allows us to communicate with our loved ones at an extremely rapid pace. Your significant other is just a phone call or a text away, and it is easy to shoot them quick messages throughout the day letting them know that you miss them. With video chat technology like Skype and FaceTime, you can actually talk face to face and it feels as though you are in the same room, making the communication a lot more personal. Set up a Skype date with your boyfriend or girlfriend to replace the date you would be going on if you were together in person.
Immerse yourself in your school and make friends
It is important to focus on your personal growth and development through college, and your partner should do the same. It is unhealthy to try and hold each other back from experiencing all that college has to offer. You have already had time to grow together in your relationship throughout the pre-college years; now is the time to grow as individuals. This will in turn strengthen your relationship in the long run. Take risks, have fun, go out on the weekends, study abroad for a while, go after that internship and take on whatever else you want to do. If you don’t, you will wind up regretting it and possibly even resenting your partner for it later on.
Make time for each other
It is so easy to get caught up in all of the things college has to offer, but it is also important to set aside time throughout the week to focus on your relationship. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and this couldn’t be more true. When you are apart, you have the chance to make memories and experience life on your own, which will make each conversation more interesting because each of you will have countless stories to tell each other. Tell them about your friends, your classes, and your daily routine. This will make your partner feel much closer to you and will help them better understand your experience.
Trust
This is the most important aspect of any successful long distance relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, chances are it's not going to end well. It is okay not to know your partner’s whereabouts at all hours of the day. It is okay if they don’t text you back right away or if they are out with friends that you don’t know. Hovering or getting paranoid about your significant other's whereabouts will just cause a great deal of stress for the both of you.
Plan surprise visits
Long distance couples tend to count down the days until holiday breaks and summer vacation, but surprise visits in between are always special. Plan fun dates, go on adventures, and make the most of the time you have with each other.
Long distance relationships can be difficult at times, but with effort on both sides, as well as the right mindset, you can survive the school years apart.
