First dates, new friends, the nerves and fears. All come when meeting someone new. Chances are most of us have been here before, and it can be really fun, and exciting. But what about when we meet the runners? The guys who just "aren't ready," and are afraid of commitment?
When meeting a guy for the first time, and discovering your similarities and differences, you may find yourself talking about your goals for your life or future endeavors. And if you're super goal oriented, nothing scares an insecure guy more than talking about future job possibilities and dreams. Particularly if you're a girl looking to go into a field dominated by men. By expressing your thoughts and excitement about these high hopes and prestigious endeavors if he's feeling insecure he may (a.) Say nothing at all, and try to brush it off. OR (b.) Explain to you that he currently is unaware of his future endeavors, which is fine, but explain that yours are far too big, making him feel insecure, and as the man, he isn't looking to be in a relationship with someone who's a few steps ahead of him. (True story.) So talk it up, express every goal, interest, idea, future plans, and prestigious thoughts you may have for yourself.
Once you've gone past the superficial, you're aware of their likes and dislikes, and you've already partially scared them away with your future goals. Nothing scares a guy more than commitment. Especially if he isn't ready, or thinks he is. Be intentional with what you're looking for, what you're not looking for. Be clear about wanting a relationship, and not a fling or one-time thing. Talk about how relationships are serious to you, and you're at a place in life where you'd like to one day get married. Use words like, "serious," or "long-term." Mention commitment, and what that looks like to you. And if he wasn't squeamish before, he is now.
At this point it should be fairly obvious to him that you mean business, you've got goals for your life, and you're looking for something real. And a lot of guys may still be holding on, not knowing that the uncomfortable feeling in their stomach is really a sign they aren't ready yet. So what do you do? You take everything you've said and show them what you mean. So you introduce them to your friends, your co-workers, roommates, whoever knows you the best. They will try to befriend him and if he didn't take your thoughts on relationships seriously then, he will now. And if the family is close by, have him over for dinner, because nothing will make him run faster than meeting the friends and family. Not that there is anything wrong with them, or what they're doing, but it'll be a sign to him that this really isn't a game.
This is simple, you say, not only am I looking for a relationship, but I'm actually looking to withhold from being too physical before marriage. And before you can finish that sentence he should be out the door.
The best for last, if day four didn't work for some reason, this will seal the deal. Tell him how you feel. Talk about the conversations you've had, the time you've spent together thus far, and say the words, "I'm interested in you."
He'll then explain to you that he's "just not ready for a relationship, and it really isn't you, it's him, and he needs to work on himself." If five days doesn't work, give him a maximum of two weeks, but chances are he'll be running much sooner than that.
