I'm not going to sugar-coat this and tell you that it is okay to go feel sorry for yourself and mourn and cry for the next thirty years, because, after a certain amount of time, it is not. Breakups SUCK. Yes, you are going to cry and binge on chocolate and sappy love movies for a while, but there is an unspoken deadline of when you have to get up and put the chocolates away.
If anything your ex was a companion to you, and someone that you were used to having around all the time. Losing that can leave you feeling empty, and very- VERY sad.
For a while, you might go back and reread a bunch of text you two had together and try and analyze when things started to go wrong and what you should have done differently. That is okay to do maybe two or three times, but after that, it is time wipe that tears off your face and deletes the texts. You might go back and look at old pictures together and be reminded of exactly how you felt at that specific time and place, but do not allow yourself to feel that too often because sis, I can promise you, it is not doing you any good.
The amount of control that we have over our own minds is actually scary. The keyword is scary. I am so self-aware of keeping him (my ex) out of my head during the day, that when night time comes around and I doze off, I no longer have control over my thoughts and I wake up feeling like I spent the majority of my dreams being with him.
Do not let these dreams follow you during the day. Keep yourself busy, go for a long run, start journaling, get a job and a gym membership, and surround yourself with some really good people. Remember, you have the power to control your own mind and more importantly, you have the power to chose an outlook on how you want to handle things.
You might feel like nothing good is coming out of being dumped and I can't blame you. It is a kick in the gut and a blow to your ego, but sometimes we have to feel our worst in order to appreciate the simple little ordinary things in life that make us laugh, and feel the most alive.
For all the girls that are dead set on waiting for their ex to run back to them and are constantly convincing themselves he will change his mind, ladies, I can't believe I am saying this, but Soulja Boy truly said it best. "If your absence doesn't affect them, your presence never mattered." Stop waiting on someone to love you back. If he missed you, you would know. Pour all the love you have to give from that big beautiful heart of yours into the little things in life. Take a step back, put the phone down, open those colorful wide eyes, breathe deeply, and just feel.
Suddenly, the sun is so much more than just a sun. It is a huge amazing ball of yellow light that makes you feel so warm inside and never fails to keeps shining regardless of all the storms that are thrown its way.
Laughter becomes more than a reflex that is blurted out of you when you think something is funny, but instead hearing it is a constant security blanket reminding you everything is going to be okay.
Running becomes more than something to do to stay in shape, but instead, it becomes an escape. The high you get from it releases enough dopamine to help you feel happy and like yourself again.
Sometimes, you will get down on yourself and feel unworthy or unimportant, but did you know that plankton, the tiny little green most boring things in the whole ocean are currently providing 90% of the oceans photosynthesis, and 50-85% of the oxygen we are breathing right now? Never count yourself output that one into perspective. (Thanks for that info Sadie Robertson)
But most importantly, with time you learn to realize that sometimes the greatest blessings in life are not always something that is given to us, but instead in what is taken away from us. You learn that you can endure, you really are strong, and that even though the circumstances have changed, you TOO will change with the circumstance.
It is up to you personally to understand and realize the amount of worth you have and no breakup, or any boy should ever be in charge of defining that. There is plenty of other fish in the sea, now girl, go reel in a keeper!