Breakups are never easy and can cause a lot of emotions in a short amount of time. From my experience, I have learned many different ways on how to get through them. The good, the bad, and the ugly, we have all been there. I have found some of the following methods extremely useful for dealing with heartache.
Step 1: The Grieving Process
I mean one of your first reactions is to cry—beside thinking “WTF." Cry and cry until you can’t cry anymore but then stop crying. First you’re gonna cry and then other emotions are gonna come out but we will get to that later.Let it all out and then get your “ish” back together and get to work.Step 2: The Removal
So you have his or her T-shirt’s, sweatshirts, pictures, and all that junk they gave you. This is what you do: take it all and what they want back you give it back but the other stuff you put in a box and you hide it somewhere you don’t usually visit in your everyday life.
Alternative to Step 2: The Funeral
Depending on the type of break up and what caused it whether it be cheating or another type of betrayal, I have discovered that setting everything on fire soothes the soul. As my mother always calls it, “having a funeral for your ex is the best way to grieve and begin the process of getting over someone."
And if you do decide to burn everything, you don’t have to worry about keeping it and you have more storage!
Step 3: The Rage
First comes the tears and the sadness, next comes the anger and fury. You might think you can manage your anger and or hate for this person... but in reality, you can't keep your emotions bottled up forever. Some people think they should stay sad but in reality, IT IS OK TO BE ANGRY!
Get angry! You have every right to. The person who you thought wouldn't hurt you did. There is no pretty way to get over someone whether it be one year or five years. I have invested in a punching bag and whenever I have felt extremely angry, I have simply just gone and beat the crap out of it.
For those of you who are going through a very painful and are experiencing a large amount of anger, I suggest placing a picture of your ex on the punching bag as a source of motivation.
Step 4: The Healing Process
No one is going to wake up the next day after a breakup and be 100% OK.
It takes time to heal because this is a process. You are experiencing a time in your life where you have to readjust to something major that has just happened. During this time, one might feel the inclination to text their ex or check up on their social media 24/7. This is normal, I promise. I am a nosy person and I want to see what my ex is doing.
However, this is not a positive way to progress in the healing process. Limit your time to social media and keep yourself busy. Go on a run, go do yoga, watch a new series, do your homework, or eat! Keep yourself busy so you don't have to keep yourself wondering.
Step 5: Moving On
I think this is the hardest part. You want to hold on but you know you can't. You are constantly reminded of your pictures in your room or every time you go to a certain place the two of you used to go to. The memories will always be there, but I promise you the pain will not.
One day you will be able to look at a picture of the two of you and remember the good times you had and not want to cry.
One day you won't feel that tear in your heart like you did when you first broke up.
You will move on and you will be OK. Life existed before that ex and life will continue to exist after them.
Right now it may feel like your entire world has been turned around and you don't know how you are going to move on, but I guarantee you that you will find a way. You may not be okay today, tomorrow, or even two weeks from now, but you will learn from this experience and you will go on.
"Flowers grow back, even after they are stepped on. So will I."
