If you and I are anything alike, you have lusted after your carefully crafted impression of greatness for a while now. You've laid awake beneath your sheets at all hours of the night, tossing and turning, thinking of how to achieve it. Whether its working your dream job, becoming a decorated athlete or receiving your diploma, you have aimed your efforts high and expect to reach nothing less. Personal success is of extreme value and importance to you. You have chosen your own definition of success and pursue it diligently...but sometimes the going can get tough. It's exceptionally easy to submit to overwhelm and exhaust and thus be swept off course. I get it, we've all been there. Luckily, I've provided some guidelines to keep you well on your way to conquering your minute region of the universe.
1. Hold your head up high.
Walk proudly and with purpose, chin up and chest full. Straightening your figure, stomping around with squared shoulders and a set jaw, and acting like you run this joint will show others (and trick yourself into believing) that you mean business. Eventually, this will become habit and the belief that you can do whatever you please will turn into affirmed knowledge. It may sound silly, but even if you have no idea what you are doing, pretend like you do. Fake it 'til you make it, kid. It's worked for thousands of politicians so far.
2. Set daily goals.
Spend time in the morning or afternoon writing down or perhaps just pondering which small tasks you would like to perform that day. Try to think of things to do that will ultimately aid you in the long run. For example, if you are working toward becoming healthier, write "practice yoga for 30 minutes today" or "eat fruit with every meal today." With this idea in your mind early in the day, you will be more likely to add this into your routine for the day. Take it a step at a time. Rome was not built in a day, and neither was any well-respected actor's career.
3. Make time to reflect on how you can improve tomorrow.
Before bed, think about how you did or did not achieve the goals you set forth that morning, identify why that might be and explore how you might change that tomorrow. This is important, as it promotes a healthy way of coping with not meeting personal expectations. Don't beat yourself up for not having time or not making the effort to find the time to perform the tasks set in the previous guideline. While it's okay to feel disappointed in yourself, if you truly wish to succeed you need to understand how to deal with and accept setbacks with a positive attitude going forward.
4. Do not settle.
You are a visionary with brilliant ideas and a passion for reaching the top, wherever that may be. You set your own terms of your happiness and you shouldn't accept anything short of this. Push for what you know you deserve, not what others think you deserve. The world may be 45% luck but it is also 50% determination (and 5% talent.)
5. Accept the encouragement of friends, family and peers.
Rather than rejecting a friend's compliment on your appearance or how well you are doing, try responding simply and confidently with "Thanks, I know" or "I think so too!" I cannot begin to share with you the power these words, when used in this particular way, have brought me. Appreciating that others have acknowledged the hard work you put into your presentation of yourself for your own benefit can give you confidence to contribute to your motivation and carry forth into your pursuit of accomplishment.
6. Keep going.
The ease of giving in to criticism and inner doubt, not to mention outer circumstances in one's life, and consequently getting stuck is surprising. However it's incredibly difficult to get unstuck. If you find this happening to you, find a way to keep yourself above water and swimming. This can be decorating your space with Leslie Knope motivational quotes, taping up pictures of your role models, or creating an Instagram dedicated to tracking the small victories of your daily life. It can also be writing about why you are pursuing what you are pursuing and why you are compelled to keep going. Thinking about the "why"s in our lives helps us to stay aware, focused and motivated. If it works for you, by all means do it. And if you need to set reminders to pop up randomly on your phone with little messages that read "YOU GOT THIS!" then all the better.
7. Embrace change.
Take on challenges, try new things and strive to learn something each day. Do your best to accept things your path that you cannot change, and venture to change the things you can't accept. As Dan Gilbert said in his TedTalk, The Psychology of Your Future Self, "Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’re ever been. The one constant in our lives is change." Do what you can with who you are right now and take control of your evolution. You may not be able to stop change, but you can direct it and make sure you are always someone you can be proud of.
8. Support others with passions.
Take note of the people in your life who encourage you to do anything you dream. Stick by them. Cultivate an active support system, an endless cycle of building each other up, so that you may encourage them to do so as well. While your success is majorly dependent on you and your efforts, it cannot be reached without a little help from your friends. Cue: John Lennon.
9. Take care of yourself.
Don't sacrifice your mental or emotional health for anything. They are the foundation of your thoughts and actions; therefore they must to be well cared for and nurtured. If you need to be alone in order to recharge, set aside adequate time to be on your own. Find activities that let you relax and refuel, be it artwork or exercise or Netflix, and indulge yourself frequently. This is not a sidetrack, this is not wasted time. It's necessary and crucial to conquering your world.
10. Finally and most importantly, communicate with the tiny part of your brain that tells you you can't do it.
I can guarantee everyone has a voice in their head that doubts their capabilities. For some it is soft, for others it is thunderous. I know I've spent years alternating between believing its lies and trying to pretend like it didn't exist. But working to control this Achilles Heel is the secret to succeeding. Rather than straight up ignoring this little bugger, I propose you systematically disprove the nasty claims it filters through your mind. Dispute the comments about you not being "pretty enough," (beauty is irrelevant, fleeting and versatile) "smart enough," (false, you have much knowledge on your passions) or just plain "not enough" (because you are.) You are breathing and trying and therefore you are enough. You need no further validation for this fact, it is indubitably and irrefutably true. No voice is loud or vicious enough to negate this. Working to shut this insignificant piece of you up will allow you to start listening to the larger, genuine part of you that knows you can do anything.
