In 2013 I moved to Ithaca with impressions of the ‘Big Apple’ ruminating in my inspired little mind. New York City was the dream, but being close to it was better than not having that prospect at all. Moving more than 7,000 miles away from my home, family and friends, the east coast of the United States was supposed to be a page out of my dream book. However, shortly after being greeted by the kind of cold that actually hurts your face, I came to realize that the east wasn’t the paradise I thought it to be. The east was not my paradise.

The summer after my freshman year I decided to make a trip out west and experience California. It was a necessary trip to make because many people had told me that I had “Cali vibes” and that I’d be happy out there. I didn’t quite understand what exactly these “vibes” were at the time, but I would soon come to realize that the description was fitting. California was never a place I imagined myself going. I knew very little about it and it lacked the “Broadway” that attracted me to the concrete jungle that is New York City. However, after being in Ventura, CA for less than 24 hours, I experienced a lot more than I did during my first 24 hours in New York City. Within a short span of time, I had already overcome a fear and ticked two things off my bucket list while in California, and in comparison, my first 24 hours in the city lathered me in disappointment and a distaste for the city.

While in California, I overcame one of my biggest fears. Having never been on that side of the world, I’d never had the opportunity to swim in the Pacific ocean, and having already had the Atlantic and Indian under my belt, I felt that it was about time to get the Pacific done too. There’s really no reason for this want. It doesn’t fulfill any sort of “things you have to do before you’re 40” list, nor does it have any spiritual or cultural significance to me, but it does represent my need for travel and the overpowering nature of my wanderlust that encourages me to push myself and go beyond what I believe myself to be capable of. That’s to say, that my need to swim in the pacific is solely because of my lust for wandering the earth and experiencing every corner of it and California made a milestone of that.

The other thing I absolutely had to do was experience actually swimming and enjoying the ocean and while on the west coast I had the opportunity to do that in the form of bodysurfing. Having never done anything of the sort I told myself to just go for it. I didn’t even think about how deep into the unknown of the ocean I was going, but I reckoned that I was safe. I had to be fearless and face the the ocean and it’s creatures. I swam and caught waves with a friend of mine and her dad for two hours, learning the ropes of the surf and allowing the force of the ocean to embrace me. I had never spent that amount of time in the ocean and I was elated; and with that, I overcame my fear of the ocean, its depth, its strength, its creatures and it’s mystery.

I have always been terrified of the ocean because I could never see what was in it so I would never know if something was approaching. With the Atlantic being as dark and creature-ridden as it is, that was not the most irrational fear to have. The Atlantic has so many jellyfish that come so close to the shore and even though I know animals are likely to swim away from humans, sometimes they can’t get away fast enough and sting you to protect themselves. It’s only natural and I absolutely do not despise them for it, but I wish that we could all harmoniously share this earth. I experienced that in California; swimming in waters with the knowledge that dolphins came close to shore and actually seeing one. I love dolphins, however, the dolphins I am used to are wild, dangerous dolphins. They are called Benguela Dolphins (because of the Benguela current that exists on Namibia’s coast).

I have traveled the US quite extensively since then, moving between the coasts and letting myself explore far and in between. I’ve been to places near bodies of water and some places further from them; however, I have not found the same type of comfort that California offered me. The experience was transforming. It allowed me to grow in ways I hadn’t expected and allowed me to experience an incredible amount of things. It opened a door into a plethora of experiences and a kind of living I could not imagine. The air was constantly scented with hints of marijuana and the people always offered kindness; something that usually came up missing when I was in New York City. I remember holding the door once as I walked into a Starbucks in Times Square and of the three people that walked in during that time span, not one said thank you. California surrounded me with people who make me wonder why we live in a bad world when people as good as these exist. I was surrounded by a family that made me happy to be alive and more than content with everything I have. I met people that helped me grow so much without even trying or realizing it. I met people that made me beyond happy to be exactly who I was in every term of that phrase and that is something the east coast had never offered me.