I've never been a quitter. I've spent my whole life in multiple extra-curricular activities, a majority of those being sports. I'm that crazy person that has four varsity sports on her Varsity Jacket (which I've never worn). During my sophomore year of basketball, that changed.
Going into my freshman year, I was so excited to play college basketball. This is what I'd worked for my whole life, right? The other freshmen and I texted each other constantly and exclaimed how excited we were to finally meet and play on the same team. After about a week of being at school together, we were clearly already all best friends and an inseparable family. As for the other girls on the team, I think they were happy to have us there, but we all didn't get along as well we might have liked. After that came the first day of workouts. Following their exceptional season last year, the team was excited to get back on the court, especially with some fresh talent. We enjoyed working out together, and all seemed good.
About a month later was the first day of season. Now, the first day is nothing to be excited about. It's all running tests and not much basketball. You wake up at 6 a.m. to run the mile, followed by a late practice (since volleyball had a game) where we had to run the rest of our sprints. After completing the sprints, and barely making any times, I immediately had a change of heart about season. I was a little more scared, and a little less excited. Most of the other girls had made the times, but a few hadn't. We had to run them again, until we made it, to get our gear. Seems fair, until you realize they're a lot harder to make than you thought.I believe it was about the second or third day until I got my gear, but that's okay. I kept working hard and didn't let that bother me.
Now was the fun part: actually getting to play. We definitely had a team that could've made post-season and possibly won the championship, but that's not the way it went at all. Game after game, we would go through the same thing. It seemed like we had a talk about how we had no chemistry every single practice. It just wasn't working. About half-way through the season, the freshman, who were as close as ever, bonded (since losing was our fault) and decided to make the most of the situation. We chose to stick it out together because next year was OUR year.
Then, next year came. One of the freshman who didn't get much play-time quit, so we bonded together again to make sure we were all there for one another. Leading up to pre-season, we were killing our workouts, getting in the gym regularly, and having fun at pick-up. I didn't get to do any of pre-season because I was still recovering from my labrum surgery. I got cleared about a week before pre-season. During the first day of practice, I didn't make my times again. It was understandable because I couldn't do anything all summer, but it really hurt to go another year of letting my teammates down. They weren't mad at me and they picked me up, but I'll always be my toughest critic.
After about a week in, I made my times. Now, my only focus was basketball and getting stronger. I worked my butt off to be the best I could and ended up starting in our first two scrimmages. Not only did we win both, but we did REALLY well. Things were looking up for us. Then came the first game, and I wasn't starting -- just another thing for me to be hard on myself about. What had I done? Or what hadn't I done? Was I just not good enough? This is when I really started to doubt myself. But we won, so that's all that mattered. I moved on.
A few games in and I was down to only playing 4 minutes per game. That was it. That was the last thing I could take. I was so unhappy. That night I called my mom and said I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep spiraling downward into depression. So my dad, my mom, and I all came to the consensus that it was time. I went into my coaches office, and after a tough conversation, I said my goodbyes. My teammates fully supported my decision, and although they weren't happy with it, they understood. I was thankful for that.
A week or so later I had made the decision to transfer. I didn't feel comfortable at my school anymore and I really wanted a change in scenery from a place where everything that seemed to be bad in my life was. Making that decision was the best thing I've ever done and a true turning point in my life. I got to spend three months at home and just worked on myself physically and emotionally. After spending three weeks at my new school, I'm blessed to say I'm the happiest I've been in a long, long time. I'm thankful for the hardships I faced because they've taught me a lot and have made me way stronger than I used to be.
I'm a firm believer that God puts you through everything for a reason.
