How to Get Over Your Scarring Past Experiences

How to Get Over Your Scarring Past Experiences

Letting Go of Negative Emotions
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We all have day-to-day worries that get us down and make us feel sorry for ourselves — stressful situations and strained relationships can make us upset in the moment.

Buried beneath these present-day emotions, however, may be something deeper.

Traumatic memories related to past accidents, illness or unpleasant interactions with others may seem inconsequential when you’re dealing with problems in the present day. But these scars often go unhealed and can stick with you for years after they’re over.

Hidden Emotional Damage

You may have some particularly scarring memories from when you were younger that come up again every once in a while — when a bee buzzes by me, for example, it conjures up memories of stumbling into a nest and ended up in the hospital.

Trauma sticks with us because it is relevant information for our brains to store. The memories return to guide our behavior and help us to avoid similar trauma in the future.

So you may think you’re over that time you got out of control on roller skates and crashed and broke your wrist, but chances are you still have some scars left over from that event.

Scars can also result from being upset by Diagnosis Trauma. Patients experience this when they receive a negative medical diagnosis and internalize their fear or stress.

Suppressing feelings of fear or shock does not make them disappear. It merely buries them, only to be dug up and dealt with later, often multiple times throughout one’s life.

In order to deal with your scars and ultimately get over them, you have to seek treatment or begin to treat yourself.

Letting Go of Negative Emotions

When life gets overwhelming, it can be easy to become consumed by negativity.

Everyone copes with stress differently, and it may take time before you are able to find a method that works best for you. Try some of the following activities and see how they make you feel:

Exercise your creativity, however you prefer to do so. You could paint, dance, read, draw, sculpt, play music, whatever is fun for you.

Exercise, whether it be running, lifting weights or playing a sport. Exercise releases endorphins, improves your stamina and health, and will relieve stress.

Write lists, keep a journal, respond to a thought-provoking article you read — the beauty of writing is that you can write literally anything you want. You don’t have to necessarily write well or share what you’ve written, but exploring your thoughts and emotions is a good way to cope with trauma.

Take a staycation, staying close to home the next time you have days off. It can be stressful to travel, especially due to expenses like airfare and rentals. Not only will you save money by staying near home, but you can really enhance your perception of things you may have taken for granted in the past. Take a trip to that nearby park you’ve never visited, or eat out at that fancy local restaurant. You’ll learn to relax in your own environment.

Wear your favorite outfit. Really, try it. It’s amazing how much of a mental boost we get from looking good and feeling comfortable.

Knock out some of your to-do list. Accomplishing something — anything — can make you feel better. Whether it’s one big project or several smaller ones, it will feel good to finally cross some items off your list.

Learn something new. If there is a topic you’re interested in or a skill you want to work on, do a quick search for information or tutorials and teach yourself! Taking a class and learning with other people can be fun, too.

Experience beauty, whether it be on a nature walk, at an art museum, or listening to music in your own home. It can be a spiritual experience, and nature especially is proven to have a relaxing effect on us.

Meditate. Stretching, deep breathing, and focus are all ways to put stressful thoughts out of our minds. There are guided meditation tutorials online, or you can try yoga.

Play with a pet or small children in your family. People with therapy animals have them for a reason — cuddling with something cute and soft can be calming.

These are only a few methods of dealing with overwhelming emotion. You may find that none of them work for you, and that’s okay! Keep brainstorming and trying new things until you are able to find what calms you.

Always keep in mind that when you are really struggling with emotional damage or trauma, you can reach out to a psychological professional for help.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Meditation Is Not A Perfect Practice, But It's Still Worth Your Time

You'll thank me later.

nczupek
nczupek
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I began doing yoga a few years ago, and I instantly loved it. The combination of stretching, mental relaxation, and emotional release is amazing. It creates a sense of zen and peace in my life that I can use during the stress that comes from school, work, and everyday life. But the one part of yoga that I am not in love with is the meditation aspect.

I absolutely dread meditation. I do not know what it is, but I can never quite seem to get my mind to quiet down. No matter how hard I try, there is always a million thoughts running through my brain. "Did I finish that homework assignment?" "Am I breathing too loud? Can other people hear me?" I become so focused on other things happening around me that I just can't seem to calm down and relax.

But meditation is not about just clearing your mind and going completely blank. It is about focusing on a single thought, object, or intention and just allowing those emotions and feelings to overcome you. Focusing on one intention in your life allows you to become focused and re-centered. Meditation is not a set in stone practice, it is adaptable based on each person's needs.

There are seven general types of meditation: loving-kindness meditation, body scanning meditation, mindfulness meditation, breath awareness meditation, kundalini yoga, Zen meditation, and transcendentalism meditation. Each of these general types can be adapted to fit ones specific needs in that time. All seven of these meditations offer stress release options to help with daily stressors and inconveniences.

There is no perfect way to meditate. Meditation can also be as simple as just closing your eyes and simply breathing for a few seconds while focusing on one important thing in your life to help you remain grounded. There is no one set meditation type that works for all people. Some people enjoy all of the forms or even several of them, while others such as myself strictly enjoy the body scanning meditation.

The body scanning meditation focuses on scanning the body for areas of tension and to encourage the release of tension in that part of the body. Once the release occurs, the whole body can begin to relax even more. It usually starts by focusing on the toes and relaxing then moving up the legs, the torso the arms to the fingertips, and all the way through to the tip of the head.

My ideal meditation type is not for everyone. Playing around with the different types of meditations is the best way to find an ideal type of meditation that fits what the body needs. Unlike with most things, practice doesn't make perfect. Practicing the art of meditation just helps to refine the overall calm and zen that is felt.

nczupek
nczupek

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