I struggle with depression and anxiety. When I came to college, everything seemed to go south. I struggled a lot with finding who I was and where exactly I fitted in.

I was bullied and I was mocked. I went through a bad relationship. I lost friends. I lost support from family members. I was failing classes. I was drinking more. Smoking more. Staying up later. Skipping classes, meetings, and work. I was falling into this hole. Little did I know, I wasn't just falling into it. No. I had already been in it. At this point in my life, I was only making the hole deeper.

I became so depressed, I couldn't physically get out of bed. I couldn't eat. I didn't want to see people. I wore clothes to cover up scratch marks, cut marks, and bruises. I cried in bathrooms and in the elevator. I cast out my friends. There were times I sat in my dorm room, laying in my bed, thinking of suicide while my roommate sat next to me.

You are probably asking, "Why is she sharing this?" I am sharing this information because I found strength in the weakest thing. Myself.

I left college for the summer. Being home was a refreshment. I was on new medication. A new workout regime. Living in a new house. I was studying a new belief system. I had turned my life around. With little to no support from those around me, I lifted myself up out of this hole. I looked so deeply at my depression and anxiety that I started to scare myself. I didn't want to become what my mind was. I took one look in the mirror, at my puffy eyes, messy hair, baggy clothes, sad face, and decided I was not going to be what everyone thought of me. A "failure". My family told me "you aren't well" and "you aren't mentally right" like I didn't already know. So, I started focusing on me more, on my happiness. Throwing what people were saying away. Soon, I became so focused on myself that I no longer had time to focus on those who tore me down. I no longer had time for the people at my school who said I wasn't good enough. I simply had enough time for myself. I became okay with the fact I was making myself happy. I started to fall in love and become more confident with who I am.

Yes, I am stubborn. Yes, I am intelligent. Yes, I am spoiled. Yes, I am beautiful. Yes, I suffer from depression and anxiety. I am all of this and more, and that is actually okay with me.

I am not masking my depression or my anxiety. It is still there but, I have found ways to make it less harsh. I found strength within myself to push back the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This is not an easy road. Especially not by yourself but, you can do it. With any struggle you may be going through, smile. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are smart. You are kind. You are everything wonderful.

I want to leave you with this: You never know what is going on in someone's mind. You never know when someone is drowning. So be kind to others. Be there for others, even when no one is there for you. And most importantly, love one another.