People associate a broken heart with negativity, which makes perfect sense considering it hurts like hell. You can physically feel the pain of a broken heart and you think it’s never going to get better. BUT IT DOES.

There are several lessons I learned from not only having a broken heart, but the relationship that caused it. I now know what I want from a relationship and what I do not. I learned to love myself and I learned how to be genuinely happy.

Self-love has always been one of my greatest struggles. I have always wanted approval from those surrounding me and I judged myself way too harshly. After my breakup, I was at my lowest point and felt completely worthless. It took that feeling to make me realize that I am amazing.

I have so much potential; I have a big heart, and I have big dreams. I am the only person who I can count on. If I have to depend on someone, I have to love them, right? I let myself go without eating or drinking for over a week, I was very sick and a complete mess. I didn’t even attempt to look good because I didn’t show my face in public, or even to my family. This made me realize that I cannot let myself go just because the person I wanted didn’t want me back.

At this point, I realized the only person I need to focus on is myself. I started eating healthy, working out daily, doing my hair and makeup. I felt beautiful for the first time in months. My body looked good, I felt good, and I did it for MYSELF. I stopped caring what anybody else thought of me. I made sure to point out one thing I loved about myself every day to boost my self-esteem. No, I’m not full of myself, but I do genuinely love myself now.I put all my efforts into improving myself, instead of putting my effort into pleasing someone else. I improved at both work and at home. At work, I focused on doing the best that I could and I picked up extra hours to keep busy in a positive way. At home, I worked on my attitude. I thought before speaking, went out of my way to be nicer, and worked on my relationship with my family.

I do not regret anything that happened in my past relationship because I learned from it. I learned that relationships are all about trust. If you cannot trust your significant other, the relationship will be too controlling.

You have to be yourself and they should love you for everything that you are instead of trying to change you. Being controlling only holds you back from the purest love you could receive. If your significant other messes up, that’s their problem. They chose their actions, you choose how to handle it. Holding them too tightly will push them away. Their life, as well as yours, cannot revolve around one another. Have your own hobbies, your own friends, your own family time. This will make you both appreciate the time spent together even more.

Love unconditionally. Love all the people surrounding you. Love all the people you used to “hate.” forgive those who have done you wrong. What helped me the most was the random people who reached out to me reminding me that I am beautiful and that I deserve the world. If other people, even those I barely know, can see that I am worth it, then I needed to believe it myself. Now I do.

You never know the battles people are facing and a simple compliment can reverse their entire day. Remind the people that you love why you love them and remind them of all the reasons they’re amazing. Spread love and happiness. Kindness can go a long way.

After I got my heart broken, I became genuinely nicer. I apologized to people I have hurt in the past, I reached out to people I did not like and became friends with them, I threw compliments around like it was my second nature. I went out of my way to point out positive qualities in my friends, family, co-workers, even strangers.

My relationship with God improved tremendously. I was constantly praying. Yeah, I prayed before, but the mannerisms completely reversed. I used to pray, asking God for the specific things I wanted.

Now when I pray, I thank him for all the opportunities I have been given and I thank him for everything I am blessed with. When I pray, I pray for happiness and love, I pray for the safety of my family and friends, I pray for courage and motivation. I no longer care to pray for a specific person to stay in my life, I don’t pray for a good day but I pray to learn from whatever may come my way.

I learned to stop looking for love, focus on yourself and let love find you. If you continue to search for it, you’ll settle for less than you deserve. God has a plan for each and every one of us already. Thomas Rhett said, “you never know what’s going to happen. You make your plans and you hear God laughing.” This quote is the truth in life.

You can search for whatever you’re looking for, but God already has it planned out. Love will come around, the only thing we can do is work on ourselves to be the best version of ourselves. This will attract the right kind of partner.

I have learned that I need to support myself. Anything a man gives me will just be extra, nothing that I will rely upon. Life is unpredictable, and that person can be taken from you at any given time. The only person who will be there 100% of the time is YOU. So be the best you that you possibly can. Work hard to reach all the dreams that your little heart desires.

I believe that being at my lowest brought me to my all-time high. I surrounded myself with true friends who motivated me to be the best I can possibly be. I was looking at life in a whole different aspect. I saw the cup half full instead of half empty. Good things in life need to fall apart so better things can fall together. A door closing is not the end, it’s just the start of something new.