When I was in middle school, I always felt like a loser when my friends would have a boyfriend. It was normally one of those silly middle school relationships, but I wanted that. My parents gave the rule of “no dating until you are 16,” and I used to be so mad about it. Now that I am a recent graduate of high school and actually have a boyfriend, I don’t see why I was so upset about being single or “not being allowed” to date until I was 16.
I’ve been in a relationship with a boy for almost a year and a half whom I’ve had a crush on since the seventh grade, and I can honestly say that being in a relationship in high school had both pros and cons.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and at this point, I couldn’t imagine being without him. However, there are a lot of things that come along with high school relationships, and they aren’t always good. Here are some good and bad things I have discovered while being in a relationship for two years of high school.
Con: Your significant other can turn into your only friend.
Since my boyfriend and I started dating, I felt like I lost touch with a lot of my girl-friends in school. I had been really close with a group of girls for most of high school, but once my relationship started, those girls and I started to grow apart. Since I had a boyfriend, it was assumed I was always with him, so I no longer was invited to hang out with “the girls.” Yes, I do love hanging out with my boyfriend, but we are together for such an exceeding amount of time that I don't have time for my other friends. It became so bad that if my boyfriend wasn’t at school, I’d be eating lunch alone and would feel awkward even talking to the girls I used to be so close with. Toward the end of high school I had reconnected with those girls and hung out with them more, but a part of me still felt a little like an outsider just because of my relationship.
Pro: You get a best friend.
Having a significant other at the time of a big transition in your life can be really helpful. You always know that there is someone you can tell anything to and not be afraid of judgment. No matter how your day was, you know there is always someone who loves you at the end of it and will be there for you. Having a best friend that you aren’t romantically involved with can give you the same things, but when it is someone you are romantically involved with, it’s a lot more personal.
Con: College.
When high school relationships blossom toward the end of someone’s high school career, college is a big factor. Do you stay together for college and try to do long distance? Do you break up to make things easier and try to stay friends? Who knows. My boyfriend and I are going to try to stay together, but sometimes I get scared that it won’t work out the way we want it to. Another big issue is the college decision. Thankfully, my boyfriend and I decided early on that we would not let our college decisions affect each other and that we wouldn’t follow each other to college. However, it is a tempting choice. I’ve just only recently realized I’m glad we won’t be at the same college because I feel like that could cause more strain on our relationship. To be completely honest though, I was considering it for a while. We were both interested in the same school, but I had to convince myself that it wasn’t the best choice for me. When it comes to college, you need to make your own decision on what is right for YOU, and with a significant other, it can actually be really hard.
Pro: You could find “the one.”
Everyone has heard of high school sweethearts, and although they may seem like a waste of time, there are a lot of people who started dating in high school who have had successful marriages. Even though there are a lot of struggles you can endure by being together through high school, college and after, it is possible to make it through. I love my boyfriend, and, as stated before, I can’t imagine life without him. I really want this thing to work out. I’m glad I have been able to “do life with him” thus far, and I look forward to trying to make it last. It’d be cool to one day tell my kids I started dating their dad in high school. A good part about being in a high school relationship is that it could last for a lifetime. Your significant other will know you better than anyone else, and they have literally been with you for all the different stages of your life. They love you for you, and you can sure hope they will love you forever.
I don’t regret waiting until I was a junior to be in a relationship, and I also do not regret having a boyfriend in high school. Even though there are more struggles that come with being in a relationship than what I have mentioned, getting through those struggles is what makes the relationship stronger. There are also other great things that I did not mention about being in a relationship, which makes it even more worth while. I’m very fortunate to be in a relationship with such a great guy, and I can only have a hopeful mind for the future as we enter into the next stage of our lives.
