Attending public school for four years of my life was dreadful. It happened to be my high school years, which are supposed to be "the best years of your life". Well, it was not that way for me. Being the new kid was not enough to start getting picked on. My height and eating habits were just the start to diminishing my self esteem.
When I started school, I already had gone through some things that have made me feel down about myself. Having to start at a new school, I had my hopes up that maybe my attitude will become positive again and things will change for me. Unfortunately, some people do not take your feelings into consideration. Being short for my height was already difficult enough since I have never been taller than anyone in my classes through my life. I have run into being called a "midget" or some other derogatory name, which I never got used to since I had nothing wrong with me. Never eating meat before became another issue for me. Being vegetarian meant that you are an alien to everyone around you. I was the only one in my school who was (if others were, they were sure good at hiding it). All sorts of cruel things were said out of that, especially once people discovered I went vegan.
Standing out was not always a good thing since it led to all attention on you. Your personality starts getting picked on, like your sensitivity and trying to stand up for yourself. Watching people watching you get degraded is dreadful especially when they are supposed to be your friends. Sometimes, it is even the ones degrading you that are supposed to be your "friends".
I did not think that it was ever going to change. I thought high school will last forever and the torture never ended. I begged to switch schools, tried to fake being sick, slept in on purpose, and did anything I could to try and avoid it when possible although they ended as failures most of the time.
Then graduation came, one of the best days of my life at the time. I never thought I would make it to that day where I would completely escape. Once I graduated though, I was terrified for college. I thought about how I am going to go through it all over again and struggle to enjoy it. Little did I know, it is one of the best times of my life.
People are not as terrifying as the ones you see in high school. You watch the people who made fun of you working at gas stations, failing out of college, getting kicked out of school for drug possession, and so many other negative things. I never wished these awful things to happen to these people. I hoped them the best even though I did not think they fully deserved it, but this is when I started to understand that life gives back what you give it.
In college, you meet people who accept you. They do not judge you by your height, eating habits, clothing, laugh, etc. They offer kindness even if they might end up not being your friend. I always had positive interactions through my three years attending with polite hellos, smiles, and even people going out of their way to hold the door for me. It is nice to see people giving you what you give them in return. It is nice knowing that high school is not forever. You are always going to have those people who act like they still are, but you learn that they do not matter and you mean so much more.
There are so many people who have similar experiences. Bullies lurk every school hallway in order to degrade others for being unique. They cannot stand your happiness and try to kill it, all because they are unhappy inside. Eventually they get what they give back to them. It may not be immediately, the next day, or next year, but it does happen. You will learn that there are so many people out there who are kind in this world. High school is not everyone or everything.
If you are degraded by classmates, remember you are not the only one going through this. Ignoring them and going through it may not be easy, but I promise everyone who is struggling... it gets so much better.
