It was a Wednesday afternoon and a 16-year-old girl was standing at a red light. She was waiting to cross the street and head to meet her ride home from school. Anyone passing by the girl would have thought that everything was OK, but the truth is, she was broken. She had just been told that she was worthless. Worthless. The person who made that awful, demeaning remark was someone the girl had hoped believed in her. As she stood there waiting, she contemplated what to do with her life. Truthfully, she wanted it all to end.
This girl is a victim from the outside, a place where one feels inferior and unwanted. She is someone who had dreams, but others didn't want her to achieve them. She is a girl who for some reason people thought would amount to nothing. She was a girl who had lost all hope in life.
To be completely honest, being on the outside is like being in prison. You feel isolated. Even though you are not literally locked up behind bars, you are emotionally and mentally isolated from the world around you. You feel like you are trapped in a tunnel with no light at the end of it. All you see is never-ending darkness, and you feel as though it is sucking you into its lifeless universe.
Just so you know, the girl in that story was me. I just wanted freedom. I thought suicide would give me that, but deep down I knew it wouldn't.
If I had ended my life, I would have hurt more people than had originally hurt me. I would have been the one forcing the pain.
I guess you figured out that I decided to fight. I was not going to let the pain of the outside come out of the battle victorious.
I know for a fact that I am not the only person in this world who has ever felt worthless or broken. I know that there are many people out there who feel that way right this minute. I know that somewhere out there someone is contemplating suicide.
If that's you, then this is what you need to know:
You are loved. You are a jewel with so much worth that a man died for you! Yes, Jesus died for you. I know that right now you feel so alone, but you aren't. God is right there with you. He is never going to leave your side. Let this be your motivation to not give up. Let this be your peace. Let this be why you make dreams and keep chasing them even when others say they are impossible.
You can do this. I promise that it will get better. How do I know this? It is because I am now 20 years old, in love with life, and supported and encouraged by an incredible group of people. If I had ended it all on that Wednesday, I would have missed out on so much.
I encourage you not to give up because this too shall pass. Your future is bright, and freedom is poking through as that little ray of light at the end of the tunnel.