In two days, I will be embarking on a once in a lifetime trip to Spain and Portugal with my family for the holidays. Any person would be over the moon but, as I'm sitting in my room thinking about it, I'm dreading it. And it’s because of the lengthy plane ride that I’ll have to endure to get there. I absolutely despise flying. There are many factors as to why but the main one is because I'm a plus-sized woman.
Why is that a factor you may ask? Because it’s an embarrassing experience for any plus-sized individual. The seat belts aren't long enough, the seats aren't big enough, and the space between seats leaves you invading somebody else’s space.
As a plus-sized woman, I’m always aware of how my size affects the people around me. On the bus, I won’t sit in a tight space because I know it’ll make the people around me uncomfortable so I choose to stand instead of the embarrassment of not fitting into that space. On a plane, however, there’s no choice but to fit in that tight space whether you like it or not. Not to mention the look you get by the individual who has to sit next to you when they realize you’re next to them for however long the flight is.
One of the most embarrassing moments of my life is the first time that I tried to buckle my seat belt on a plane and I couldn’t. It wasn't long enough and I was so mortified. I quickly hid the fact that I couldn't buckle my seat. My face was beet red and I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes. I didn't know what to do and I contemplated just using my jacket to cover my stomach and conceal the fact that I couldn't buckle my seat belt. I was going to risk my safety because I was embarrassed by what people were gonna think of me. How ridiculous is that? But thanks to the size-friendly Southwest Airlines, a flight attendant saw how scared and ashamed I was and slid me a seat belt extender. I looked up at her and she was just smiling at me. I had never been more grateful to a human being than that moment in my life.
Since that moment, I’ve tried to accept the fact that flying isn’t going to be a comfortable experience… for anyone. Airplane companies fill planes with as many seats as possible with little regard to who will be filling those seats. In this capitalistic society, they care about profit, not about the care and comfort of its passengers.
As much as I'm still embarrassed to go on a plane because of my size, I’ve developed my own system on how to take care of myself when I fly. I remind myself that I’m not defined by my weight and size. I make friends with the flight attendants so when I ask for a seat belt extender, it isn’t the most humiliating moment of my life. I take deep breaths. I don’t let these moment define how I see myself. And if any of you have felt this way before, in any situation, I hope you don’t, too.
