From the age of five, my summers were spent with a pair of soccer cleats on feet and ball at my feet. All through grade school and high school, I played soccer. I lived and breathed for the game that I had played all my life. I even was contacted by my college womens team's coach. But after 13 years, I walked away. Why would someone who could have played in college who had played as long as I had, walk away from the game she loved? Well, here's my reasons why.

First of all, I was going to college as biology major and knew it was going to be a lot of work. I wanted to devote myself to my education, not athletics. I wanted to get to experience my freshman year of college without athletics interfering. I knew I had to work hard to get the grades I wanted for myself and to do want I want with my future. I didn't want to have to squeeze studying between games and practices. But,I give credit to all those who manage to play sports in college, and maintain good grades, but this isn't wanted for my freshman year and the rest of college. I had a super busy life in high school and I want to use college as a time to step back and limit what I do to a few main things and to study hard. So, I made a choice and never looked back.

Moving on, after high school, I was left with this feeling that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't one to quit, so I stuck it out for all four years. When my senior year came around, I pushed myself in the preseason and gave it all I had. But, it wasn't enough to get alot of varsity time as only got in during blow out games or against easy teams and only started two games, one of which was my senior night, and I still had to play junior varsity as a senior. Yes, I should be glad I still got to play. However, it made me feel that I wasn't good. I felt like all the years of experience I had and understanding of the game didn't matter.My love for game was tarnished by the fact of self doubt of abilities. I felt that I wasn't good enough and when I was contacted by the coach of the team at my college, I thought it couldn't be really happening. But, the feeling of lacking ability that had grown of my four years of high school lead me to deny wanting to play at the college level.

Lastly, there were other things I wanted to experience. Even during my senior season, I did things that I hadn't done in years prior that I had wanted to do. For example, I loved theatre and had always longed to be in my high's fall shows, but didn't know how to manage it with my game and practice schedule. But I figured, this is my last shot, so I join the cast for an amzing production of Who Shot the Sheriff? I made it work with my already busy schedule and would often go from rehearsal straight to practice and would have to miss rehearsal on game days. Fast forward to college, I did things in my fall semester I probably wouldn't have been able to do if I had decide to play. I was able to continue my passion for theatre and join a student ran theatre group. In addition, I was able to play Ultimate Frisbee at school, conviently with my older brother. If I had joined soccer,I wouldn't be able to do either of these two things and would lose one of the best things in the world to me: my love for the stage.

Yeah, my love for the game still burns inside me, and somedays, I wish I could take the field for a game one more time, but I'll settle for pick up games and intermurals now. The 13 years of soccer was me, but now i have walked away from serious playing of the game I love. I hung up my cleats at the end of senior year and yeah at the beginning of school,I wihed I still had soccer camp to go through. I wish I could still roll up to the stadium for our games that we got to play on the turf and how excited I would get on the inside. I long to rip up a piece of paper with a quote on it a shove it behind my shin guard. But that's behind me, now I grab a disc or take the stage.

I honestly have no major regrets about any of the decisions I have made in regards to my career as a soccer player being over. Yeah sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if things were different, but I'll never know. This is my life now and I have to get used to things being different. No worries, if ask me to play a small game or to shoot around with you, I'll agree. I'll grab the cleats and hit the field to relive my favortie thing in the world.