I had the somewhat "unique" experience of being raised as an only child by my mother and treated as the youngest in a set by my father. Though my siblings were a part of my life, I grew up relatively separated from them for the early years of my life. My half siblings were older than me, and they grew up on the other side of the country, and yet I always felt connected to them. They were, and are to this day, three of the most important people in my life, because I have always looked up to them and loved them like any real sibling would. For the first 10 years of my life, I grew up with three siblings who I saw a few times a year, and who I loved regardless of how little time we spent together. But the second 10 years of my life have been drastically different.
Following my parents' divorce, I quickly became close with the children of my father's future wife through our mutual after school activity, karate. Though our parents have only been together for six years, and married for the last four, I have considered my step siblings to be real brothers and sisters for much longer. We have been through middle school, high school and our early college years together. We grew up together the way any real siblings would. Long before we were legally related, I loved them like all true siblings do.
I have six siblings; six real siblings. But I don't have any siblings who were made by my mother and my father. For years I've dreaded the question "How many siblings do you have?" not because I don't know what to say; the answer has always been very clear to me. I dread this question because I don't like what other people will say when I tell them the answer. When I tell people that I have six brothers and sisters they always ask if they're full siblings, and when I tell them "no" people always respond the same:
"So you don't have any real siblings?"
This question has plagued me for most of my life, and I think it's finally time to set the record straight. I am not an only child, because I do have real brothers and sisters. Technically speaking, every single one of them is related to me by blood or marriage. But that is not the only reason I consider them true brothers and sisters. Not all people are close with their half and step siblings, but I am. Because of this, I chose to consider them family. Family doesn't just include the group of people you were born related to. God knows I don't consider some of my relatives to be real family. Your family is the group of people you love and want to be a part of your life.
Though my experience with brothers and sisters may be different from the norm, I still had a real experience. I grew up with siblings, and we have seen each other change and grow. We have fought and made up just like all siblings do. We have gone through the best times and the hardest moments of our lives together. I have loved them through thick and thin, and I will continue to love them for the rest of my life.
