Improve Your Relationships With Girls By Doing These Things

9 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

This will help girls and guys live more harmonious lives together!

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Dear Guys,

I love you. I really do. That's why I wrote the following article for you.

I want you to have better relationships with the girls in your life, and I think these 9 things will help you with that goal.

It is not a lofty or unattainable thing - having great relationships with friends, siblings, romantic interests, and other girls in your life is possible!

Be aware that this is a large topic and I will only be able to talk about a couple of the million things I could mention to help guys and girls live harmoniously together. This advice can apply to any guy-girl relationship, but it is geared towards unmarried people, single people, and people in romantic relationships.

Let's begin!

1. Be Honest and Kind

Sometimes, you have to lay down some Gospel Truth to your girl and it can be hard. If you need to have a more serious talk with your best buddy, girlfriend, sister, cousin, mom... you get the point, then be kind. The truth is hard to accept because every human wants to be right whether we are right or not. Being kind will help keep the room calm and the conversation as painless as it can be.

2. Be a Planner

If you are the one initiating this weekend's hang out event or date night, please come up with some options. It will take the stress off of the girl to come up with a list of activities to do, and it shows us girls that you have the ability to lead. Every girl wants someone who can think creatively and plan accordingly.

If you're really out of ideas, it's okay to ask, just not every time, please.

3. Let Girls Be Ferocious 

Women are here to help men feel confident enough to try new things (and to help you if you fail). Women are also here to make sure you become an amazing man - the man you really want to be that is courteous and kind, talented and thoughtful, strong and meek.

Men, let us do our jobs - let us encourage you to try harder, push you when you know you need it, and even yell at you to do the right thing sometimes. Let us be ferocious.

4. Compliment Our Inner Qualities Too

We love compliments! You know why? Most girls don't feel 100% beautiful or confident all the time. The world tries to tell us all these ways that we can be more gorgeous, younger looking, have a certain body shape, which all implies that we are not enough. So yes, please compliment us when we look beautiful but also compliment our inner qualities, too.

Compliment how hard we work, how generous we are with our free time, how dedicated we are to excellence, etc. These qualities are the most important ones because they don't change based on appearance.

5. Surprise Us Every Once In A While

Girls love surprises! It will make us feel seen and appreciated if you give us a handwritten note, our favorite food(s), or treat us to a nice hike after a long week of work. We will be super grateful for a break in the routine.

6. Girls TALK and yes, it's like the grapevine

The following information might shock you. If you tell a girl a secret, she might tell a couple of her friends about it. This isn't always the case! But it is the norm in my social circle.

Why do girls share information like crazy? We share a lot because it is part of who girls are - we are wired for communication. I feel like some girls will be upset that I've let this "cat out of the bag!" but guys need to know that girls talk.

Below is a tangible example of what I mean by the "girls talk" thing:

While dating, there were certain things only my boyfriend and I knew about each other because it had no reason to leave our relationship. It was between us and we understood that. But for other things, yes, I would talk about how our last argument was resolved or how amazing he treated me for my birthday.

7. Don't Cross the Line

If you are friends, then just be friends. Don't flirt or lead each other on.

If you are actively figuring out with a girl if you would be good in a relationship together, don't go too fast. Take it slow and don't let your emotions cloud sound judgement.

If you are dating, then don't talk about deep stuff (or the issues you should only share with your girlfriend) with single girls you are not related to. This same advice applies to engaged men or married men. Have those conversations with your trusted guy-friends. Another incentive to not talk to another girl in this way is because GIRLS TALK and your girlfriend/fiancé/wife will find out eventually and it will not be good.

8. Protect

Protect us. Yes, if you have to throw a punch, do it. I'm serious, cuz sometimes a punch has to be thrown to keep the girls in your life safe (or just for the sake of justice).

Defend our honor, defend our feelings, defend our livelihoods and defend defend defend. What this means is not letting us girls do dumb things like going home for a "sleepover" with a stranger from the bar or getting back together with our deplorable ex. Defend us from bad friendships we might put ourselves in by warning us "That girl will be trouble for you." Defend us from feeling alone by holding us when we cry. Defend us from yourself, if you must, because sometimes you are the villain instead of the prince in the story (I hope not intentionally, but it still had to be said).

9. Love God First

If you love Our Father and be the kind of Biblical man God calls you to be, you will be the man of your dreams and the brother, friend, spouse, and father the world needs you to be.

Matt Chandler explains God's vision of manhood in his "A Beautiful Design" series on Youtube. Start at Part 3, a Man's Purpose, if you're interested in this joyful way of living.

I know I didn't cover everything, but what I did say is important and I hope you take this information to heart.

Peace and blessings!

Brooke,

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I'm Dating My Best Friend's Ex, But It’s Not What You Think

"I've got my forever, maybe he will be yours."

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My current best friend was also my high school best friend. Her high school boyfriend was a close family friend. After graduation, she knew that he wasn't her forever, and though it was hard to cut ties with someone she'd shared her life with for the better part of her high school days, she stepped out on faith and ended things. That was three years ago. Since then, she's found her forever.

She's found the one whom her heart loves, and they're set to be married a year from now.

While she was cultivating her relationship with her now fiancé, I was struggling my way through dead-end, short-lived relationships. She was there to support me through every heart-ache, failure, and Chinese food binge, and she continues to be a treasured confidant. Which made it strange when her ex from high school texted me six months ago. He's always been a close family friend, and we've kept in touch despite him going on to date other people after my best friend, but these texts were different. These texts were flirtatious and long-winded. These texts felt wrong.

It was as if I was betraying the person I am closest to, and I decided I had to talk to her immediately.

At first, I decided I needed to end the whole correspondence with him. What would she say if she knew I was entertaining such a notion? We had only been texting regularly for two days, but I couldn't keep such a secret, and I didn't want to. I explained the situation to her in detail. I offered to show her the messages, and I was completely mortified by what her response might be. I wasn't sure if I liked him, but I was sure I didn't want to lose my best friend over it. She listened to me babble on and on dramatically and frantically as I do about almost every situation I find myself in, and when I was finished explaining the entire situation, she spoke.

I've been reminded many times why she is my best friend. When we were co-captains on the volleyball court, riding the buses, complaining about the heat, and singing at the top of our lungs, I knew she'd always be the one I'd want to act crazy with. On the day we had our first real fight, we forgave each other almost instantly. I remember thinking, We've made it, she's the one that's going to stick around.

When we almost died riding a Razor because of a cow, I knew there was no one else I wanted to experience near-death situations with.

Because she continually accepts my apologies for things I should've known better than to do, I am grateful for her. She is patient when I make declarations about my life and then completely turn away from my own decisions. She is not judgmental of me, she is not full of malice. She supports my crazy schemes, she carves pumpkins with me, she tells me I'm a "skinny mini" when I know I'm not, but so hope I will be. She is everything a best friend should be and more. So, when she spoke, I was relieved, but not at all surprised to hear her kind-hearted response:

She thanked me for telling her and smiled. She told me that she was not angry, she was not hurt, she was genuinely happy for me. She told me she had always thought we would be a good match and that I should go for him.

She said, "I've got my forever, maybe he will be yours."

Honestly, I think that's the greatest, most self-less response I've ever heard. I continued correspondence with him with her blessing, and he and I became official a few months later. I don't know if he's my forever, but I'm so thankful for a best friend who has given me the chance to find out.

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Be Nice To Everyone, Even The One Who May Be A Total Jerk to You

You don't know what everyone is going through, so just be nice.

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"You're always so bubbly." "Why are you so nice?"

These are phrases I typically hear, and to tell you the truth, it's because why would you want to be mean? The reason I am nice to everyone is that you honestly don't know what people go through. You don't know if they're giving a fake smile or not because they have problems at home or with their friends. Even if you're having a bad day, don't take it out on someone else because you shouldn't use someone as your own personal punching bag.

People go through so many things in their daily lives. Everyone has their own demons and may be fighting their own fights, so why would you want to add fire to that? Wouldn't you want to be the person that makes someone smile after they have been having a bad day? Making someone's day will honestly make your day because you will feel like you helped someone.

Many people who are bitter at the moment tend to rain on other people's parades, or in other words, they want to stop the positive attitude of someone who is having a good day. This instance has happened to me many times, where people tend to want to ruin the positive attitude I have just because they don't agree with what I say or think that they're above me. When you're mean to a person, you give off the feeling that you think they're less and we live in a country where everyone should be treated equally. Being nice is about being a decent human being and treating the people you meet with kindness and respect, regardless of who they are.

In the past, I have had my share of bullying and people who are closed minded and have negative attitudes. In my experience, I don't even want to continue and engage with them because if you surround yourself with negativity, it will eventually start to rub off on you. Self-care is also choosing not to argue with people who are committed to misunderstanding you, which is exactly why sometimes I just stay quiet and let the other person think they have "won" the argument because, at the end of the day, you believe in what you want. People should know the difference between voicing their opinion and trying to change someone's opinion.

Lastly, being mean doesn't solve anything. As hate crimes have risen in the past couple of years, it is an effect of being mean to people. As a society, we honestly do not need any more hate or bullying or negative attitudes. I understand that some people aren't as friendly or outgoing, but it's simple — if you have an encounter with someone, just make sure to be nice and not put anybody down. Words hurt, too.

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