I love you. I really do. That's why I wrote the following article for you.
I want you to have better relationships with the girls in your life, and I think these 9 things will help you with that goal.
It is not a lofty or unattainable thing - having great relationships with friends, siblings, romantic interests, and other girls in your life is possible!
Be aware that this is a large topic and I will only be able to talk about a couple of the million things I could mention to help guys and girls live harmoniously together. This advice can apply to any guy-girl relationship, but it is geared towards unmarried people, single people, and people in romantic relationships.
1. Be Honest and Kind
Sometimes, you have to lay down some Gospel Truth to your girl and it can be hard. If you need to have a more serious talk with your best buddy, girlfriend, sister, cousin, mom... you get the point, then be kind. The truth is hard to accept because every human wants to be right whether we are right or not. Being kind will help keep the room calm and the conversation as painless as it can be.
2. Be a Planner
If you are the one initiating this weekend's hang out event or date night, please come up with some options. It will take the stress off of the girl to come up with a list of activities to do, and it shows us girls that you have the ability to lead. Every girl wants someone who can think creatively and plan accordingly.
If you're really out of ideas, it's okay to ask, just not every time, please.
3. Let Girls Be Ferocious
Women are here to help men feel confident enough to try new things (and to help you if you fail). Women are also here to make sure you become an amazing man - the man you really want to be that is courteous and kind, talented and thoughtful, strong and meek.
Men, let us do our jobs - let us encourage you to try harder, push you when you know you need it, and even yell at you to do the right thing sometimes. Let us be ferocious.
4. Compliment Our Inner Qualities Too
We love compliments! You know why? Most girls don't feel 100% beautiful or confident all the time. The world tries to tell us all these ways that we can be more gorgeous, younger looking, have a certain body shape, which all implies that we are not enough. So yes, please compliment us when we look beautiful but also compliment our inner qualities, too.
Compliment how hard we work, how generous we are with our free time, how dedicated we are to excellence, etc. These qualities are the most important ones because they don't change based on appearance.
5. Surprise Us Every Once In A While
Girls love surprises! It will make us feel seen and appreciated if you give us a handwritten note, our favorite food(s), or treat us to a nice hike after a long week of work. We will be super grateful for a break in the routine.
6. Girls TALK and yes, it's like the grapevine
The following information might shock you. If you tell a girl a secret, she might tell a couple of her friends about it. This isn't always the case! But it is the norm in my social circle.
Why do girls share information like crazy? We share a lot because it is part of who girls are - we are wired for communication. I feel like some girls will be upset that I've let this "cat out of the bag!" but guys need to know that girls talk.
Below is a tangible example of what I mean by the "girls talk" thing:
While dating, there were certain things only my boyfriend and I knew about each other because it had no reason to leave our relationship. It was between us and we understood that. But for other things, yes, I would talk about how our last argument was resolved or how amazing he treated me for my birthday.
7. Don't Cross the Line
If you are friends, then just be friends. Don't flirt or lead each other on.
If you are actively figuring out with a girl if you would be good in a relationship together, don't go too fast. Take it slow and don't let your emotions cloud sound judgement.
If you are dating, then don't talk about deep stuff (or the issues you should only share with your girlfriend) with single girls you are not related to. This same advice applies to engaged men or married men. Have those conversations with your trusted guy-friends. Another incentive to not talk to another girl in this way is because GIRLS TALK and your girlfriend/fiancé/wife will find out eventually and it will not be good.
Protect us. Yes, if you have to throw a punch, do it. I'm serious, cuz sometimes a punch has to be thrown to keep the girls in your life safe (or just for the sake of justice).
Defend our honor, defend our feelings, defend our livelihoods and defend defend defend. What this means is not letting us girls do dumb things like going home for a "sleepover" with a stranger from the bar or getting back together with our deplorable ex. Defend us from bad friendships we might put ourselves in by warning us "That girl will be trouble for you." Defend us from feeling alone by holding us when we cry. Defend us from yourself, if you must, because sometimes you are the villain instead of the prince in the story (I hope not intentionally, but it still had to be said).
9. Love God First
If you love Our Father and be the kind of Biblical man God calls you to be, you will be the man of your dreams and the brother, friend, spouse, and father the world needs you to be.
Matt Chandler explains God's vision of manhood in his "A Beautiful Design" series on Youtube. Start at Part 3, a Man's Purpose, if you're interested in this joyful way of living.
I know I didn't cover everything, but what I did say is important and I hope you take this information to heart.
Peace and blessings!