1. Thou shalt not ask me to Netflix 'n' Chill
What is it with our generation with Netflix 'n' chilling? The only Netflix 'n' chilling I want to do is by myself with my Domino’s go-to (a small cheese pizza with pepperoni, jalapeño, and pineapple— don't knock it ‘till you try it) and my stuffed animals watching Bob’s Burgers. No, I do not want your company, as you will be intruding my peace and quiet, so before you ask, just know the answer is no. Netflix 'n' chill time is reserved for one. I am busy. I have school, extracurriculars, and a future to look forward to, and the last thing I’m trying to do is entertain you when I’m trying to be lazy for an hour watching my favorite show on Netflix. If you want to hang out, lets go on a date. Or just buy me food. Anything, but Netflix 'n' chill.
2. Thou shalt not dance with me without permission.
Girls do not go to parties to raise your self esteem so you can brag about the number of us with whom you danced. I don’t even know what it is with guys thinking they can creep upon a girl and start dancing with her. No, I did not come to a party so that you could I, like many other people have a very big personal bubble, which very few people can get through— those people being my family and my best friends. If that bubble is trespassed by one more Vineyard Vines three quarter zip wearing, Timb stomping, salmon pants-in-winter “rocking” aggressive frat guy in a basement, I will ensure that moment will mark the end of his happy night. If you want to dance, ask politely, and don’t get salty when we say no. Rejection hurts, but its much better than being physically hurt by the girl you thought wouldn’t step up when you started dancing with her.
3. Thou shalt not pull a Casper
Did you or did you not just text me two hours ago? Whats the deal? I waited an hour to respond, yet something tells me our conversation ends here … Stop ghosting girls on a regular basis. We end up internalizing all of your actions and when you do things like that, it makes us feel undesirable and like sore losers when you in all reality are the loser who is overwhelmed with our grace and texting skills. It is another thing to have actually forgotten to respond, as I myself am a terrible texter and will only likely respond in the case that our conversation is about us making plans. If you suck at texting, just don't get our hopes up and don’t text us in the first place. If you’re ghosting, go to a graveyard and don’t waste our precious time.
4. Thou shalt not attempt to instill feelings of envy.
Unfortunately, this approach works sometimes, but the last thing I want to do is approach you after you’ve expressed interest in someone else. We are all guilty for doing petty things, but This is the worst thing to do. Believe it or not, girls have feelings and will not be afraid to express them. It is on a rare occasion that you can pull something like this and not feel the repercussions of a very angry girl. More likely than not, we will find a guy we don’t even like as much just to one up you and the girl with whom you were flirting, never realizing the reason you spoke to her was that you actually liked us, so just don’t do it. It saves time and you from feeling like you messed up (which you did).
5. Thou shalt not comment negatively on my appearance.
Being a girl is a full time job, so you best appreciate that. I personally like to wear makeup and put the extra twenty minutes’ effort into my outfits ideally every single morning. Sadly, that is something that is not always feasible. Sometimes, we don’t go for the winged liner and just skip right to mascara, or even the full natural look when we don’t get enough beauty sleep. It is really messed up when guys say things like, “You looked better yesterday” and “You look really tired”, especially on a day on which we clearly did not maybe put as much work into the daily routine because we were catching up on sleep (or maybe watched Netflix all night). To be a girl consumed by social media (Kylie’s lips, among other makeup trends) makes one feel like she must fulfill a particular standard of beauty thats really hard to achieve. Please keep this in mind whenever you see someone who does not conform to every day beauty standard for a day and instead of telling her she looks tired, tell her she looks nice! We are allowed to have our lazy days. To be a girl requires a lot of maintenance and it will definitely make her day.
6. Thou shalt not enter my friend group.
I would like to make this very clear. If we are not friends with you and have our own separate friend group, chances are, we are happy with our friends. Do not welcome yourself into my friend group when it is very clear that we are not friends. If we were not friends before, chances are, we will not be friends later. That being said, stop hitting up my friends. You have your friends and I have mine. My friends get the memo and you should too. Unless we have a mutual friend from before seeing one another, you should not be reaching out to my friend group. If something goes completely wrong between us, everyone (in the friend group into which you decided to invite yourself) will feel the consequences and to be honest, it is just not worth it at that point.
7. Thou shalt not lie to my face
What on earth is it with guys and issues concerning honesty? I understand that feelings are often times cliche (thanks Disney) and your boys will judge, but don't act like your boys don’t low key have feelings for girls too. It is so messed up how in American culture (as my European friends have told me the dating scene and guys are different on the other side of the world), men are taught to not show their emotional vulnerability because they fear it will make them seem “feminine”. We are all humans and we are all affected by feelings. The only difference between guys and girls is that we are less shy about our feelings because we actually have people with whom we are not afraid to express them, something guys do not really have. Regardless, I guarantee that if you are honest with yourself and the girl with whom you are involved, that the outcome will be so much better than you just trying to fulfill some typical American guy stereotype. “Boys will be boys” is not a valid excuse. Get your life and feelings together and grow up.
8. Thou shalt acknowledge my feelings as legitimate
Just because I am not afraid to express my feelings, it does not give you any ground for you to judge us for being able to do so. I am so sick and tired of hearing stories about how “crazy this girl was” just because she, at the end of the day, was honest with herself and a guy she cares about. In all honesty, if you’re a guy who makes someone embarrassed for having totally legitimate feelings, then you are clearly not in tune with yourself and you have some personal work to do. Do not take it out on us.
