For my first article, I originally had something completely different written out. I was working on a witty piece in hopes of making someone laugh. However, I quickly realized I am not the slightest bit funny. At all. Humorous material does not come naturally to me. I am usually the only one who laughs at my jokes.
So, I am going to talk about a topic I know all too well.
When I was around 7 years old, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
To be honest, I do not have many memories during this time period. I knew that my mom was really sick, but I never truly understood what was going on behind the scenes. I watched as she conquered getting a mastectomy, receiving chemotherapy and losing her hair. Her smile never wavered through the entire process.
Fast forward to age 12. The cancer had returned as Stage 4. It metastasized into her bones, liver and lungs. The tumors were everywhere in her body. Next stop was the brain. The doctors gave her about six more months.
I knew it was bad, but I was still unable to fully comprehend the severity of the situation. My method of coping was to just ignore. I wanted to act as if nothing was wrong. I wanted to have a normal childhood just like all of the other kids. I wanted to fight tirelessly with my mom like a normal teenage girl would. I did not want to admit my situation was different. Those around me interpreted my defiance as being ungrateful and rude, but I just did not understand how to cope with my pain.
My parents always did their best to ensure I lived a completely normal life. I was lucky enough to continue dancing competitively, attend my singing lessons, compete in pageants and participate in school musicals. Through all of this, I still felt alone. I would cry myself to sleep at night and think, "No one understands."
Truthfully, college has been an enlightening experience for me. I have met inspiring women in my sorority and on campus who have shared similar experiences. I have discovered my greatest professional and personal strengths, as well as my weaknesses. I have gained more confidence in myself and my abilities.
I won't lie, I still struggle every single day. I have developed an unpleasant amount of anxiety as a result. However, if it were not for my amazing support system, I would not be where I am today.
To anyone out there with a sick parent or loved one, I want to share with you a few pieces of wisdom I have learned along the way:
1. Do Not Be Afraid To Talk About It
Whether it is another family member, a friend, a teacher or a counselor, please talk to someone. It is not healthy to keep those toxic feelings inside. You are not alone in this situation. There is someone out there who can empathize with you, even if you feel there isn't. My biggest regret is not admitting my feelings toward the situation earlier in life. Although it is the easiest option, avoiding the pain is never the answer.
2. Appreciate Your Loved Ones
Do not take any life for granted. Cherish every moment you have with them. Never go a day without saying "I love you."
3. Stay Positive
A positive attitude can work wonders on the mind and body. I tend to always look at the negative aspects of a situation because the positive seem so far-fetched. I do not want to get my hopes up and be disappointed by the negative outcome. However, even on my mom's darkest days, her faith never seemed to waver. She always had a positive attitude toward the situation, no matter how bad it got. Her positive mindset and trust in God is what kept her on this Earth. I knew I had to be just as strong in order to make it through the hardships.
4. Accept What You Cannot Change
You will have your days where you ask yourself "why." Why did this have to happen? Why does my mom have to endure this pain? Why can I not do something more? I was so angry with the world. I was constantly dwelling on my misfortunes until I realized there are so many people who have it worse than I do. Do not pity yourself. Do not put yourself in the hole of darkness. It took me a long time, but eventually I learned the only thing I can do is provide endless love and support for my mom, and for others who are struggling with a similar situation
5. Remember That Everything Happens For a Reason
You may not believe it, but God has a plan. Everything that occurs in your life is designed to shape you Looking back now, my mom getting cancer was probably one of the best things that could have happened. It strengthened our relationship and brought us closer through the years, it forced me to grow up much faster than most kids my age and developed me into the strong, independent woman I am today.
Since these events made such an impact on my life, I got a tattoo on my ribs dedicated to my mom which reads, "Your battle is my battle." This tattoo is my permanent reminder that no matter what hardship life throws our way, I will always be fighting right by her side.
After 13 years, two rounds of intense chemotherapy, over 12 radiation treatments and many prayers, I am proud to say my mom is alive and well.
And to all those out there struggling with cancer or knows someone special with cancer, remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Never give up.
Never stop fighting.
