Life Ten Years After The Green New Deal
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The Brave New World America Will Be Ten Years After The Green New Deal Is Enacted

Once The Green New Deal is law, America will become the wonderful haven we always dreamed it would be. (Satire)

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:GreenNewDeal_Presser_020719_(26_of_85)_(46105848855).jpg
Senate Democrats

The fresh new face of Congress, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, or as some like to call her AOC, recently released her Green New Deal. This deal promises "guaranteed jobs with a family-sustaining wage," "high-quality health-care," "affordable, safe and adequate housing," "healthy and affordable food," and "high-quality education." This is not just for some people, it's for "all people of the United States."

The bill also includes cutting all carbon emissions, "upgrading all existing buildings," economic security for all "unable or unwilling to work," and investment in zero-emission transportation and "high-speed rail."

Many have criticized this proposal as unrealistic and too expensive. Even Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was reluctant to support this bill. In an interview with Politico, she dismissively said, "It will be one of several or maybe many suggestions that we receive. The green dream, or whatever they call it, nobody knows what it is, but they're for it, right?"

Many are very skeptical of AOC's Green New Deal. A popular counter-question about the deal is "How is it going to be paid for?" This question is obviously just a way to distract from the magnificence of the bill. It will be paid for by how we pay for everything else. We pay for social security, Medicaid, and welfare now, don't we? Also, we can just print more money and maybe we'll finally figure out how to turn silver into gold.

I think Nancy Pelosi and the Republicans are wrong about their reluctance and opposition to the Green New Deal. It is going to pass in Congress and Trump will have to sign it because the Democrats will say he doesn't have the guts to. In order to prove them wrong and totally own them, he will sign the bill. So, it will be a bipartisan win for both sides.

Once the glorious Green New Deal is enacted, this is what my life, and what everyone else's life, will be like in ten years.

The year is 2029, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is president and she is about to go up for reelection for a third term. After vigorous debate, the legal age to be president was brought down from 35 to 25 years old in order to cut down carbon emissions. This is just one of the many changes the deal brought.

It is morning, and I am getting ready for the green new day. I step out on to the balcony of my luxurious Beverly Hills mansion, sipping my eco-friendly iced vanilla latte. After waving to my neighbor Meryl Streep, I skip back inside and eat my affordable and pollutant-free agricultural breakfast.

I turn on my solar-powered TV to the first news channel I find. Fox News's chyron reads, "We were wrong about AOC. Also, we were wrong about AOC." I flip to the next channel. It's CNN reporting yesterday's white house press brief. The reporters gather around AOC's press secretary, Donald Trump, hurling questions at him from every direction.

"Trump, how are you feeling today?" "Did you ever shake that fever?" "Can you turn the air down? It's getting rather warm?" "Hey, remember when you used to be president?"

I switch to MSNBC. "Poverty and crime rates are at zero percent," Sean Hannity enthusiastically reports, "In other news, our ten-year peace with North Korea continues to remain stable."

I shut the TV off and head out to my guaranteed job of surveying the surveyor of renewable energy of California. It isn't just me living this luxury; it's everyone. Since the federal minimum wage is 15 Million dollars an hour, all people of the United States can live rich. Our taxes, bonds, and deficit spending have really paid off.

I hop onto my solar-powered bicycle with a built-in espresso machine. I have a long 2 hours surveying ahead of me. I look up into the sky. The Ozone Layer is so thick now it started playing the BBC's Planet Earth.

After I'm done with work, I decided to visit my family in the winter wonderland known as Florida. I can hardly remember the days when Florida was a sweltering, fiery glimpse of hell. But now that all carbon is gone, it's at its true potential.

I board the solar-powered highspeed rail. The one I am on now is also equipped with renewable and sustainable solar-powered solar panels, so it goes faster than the average trains. When I arrive in Florida, I meet them at the panhandle glacier and watch the polar bears go by.

Once I'm done visiting, I ride back to my Beverly Hills mansion and go to sleep in my solar-powered bed. It's been a great day mobilizing the mobilization of the future.

If the Green New Deal passes, it will be a step forward for America. Or it won't pass, and we'll all go on like nothing happened because "Hey, look! A new tweet!"

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