10 Things You Learn From Going Back To A Toxic Relationship

10 Things You Learn From Going Back To A Toxic Relationship

Change doesn't just magically happen overnight.

128
views

Trust me, I know the feeling when you start talking to an ex-significant other again and it *feels* like the magic is still there. So you give it another try and you realize that absolutely nothing has changed and you need to get out as fast as possible.

1. Actions speak louder than words.

Someone can say the right things all that they want, but at the end of the day it's how they treat you and what they do to show you they mean their words that matters. I know how hard it is to look past what they text you, but all in all you need to remember that if they truly cared they would treat you better.

2. Maybe not everyone deserves a second chance.

Sure, some people are capable of change. However, unfortunately, many people are going to tell you what you want to hear and then they won't make the changes. Be careful when deciding who to let back in your life and who to stay away from; some people are truly incapable of changing.

3. If they were going to treat you right, they would have done so the first time.

As hard as it is to hear this, it's true. Someone is going to treat you right from the start if they want to be with you. They'll show you that they want to be with you, and they would try their hardest not to lose you.

4. If you have to repeatedly ask for someone to make time for you, they're not the one.

If someone wants to see you then they're going to make time for you. End of story. If you have to ask someone over and over what they're doing and if they have time for you, then they are not good for you at all. This goes back to the fact that actions speak louder than words. Someone can tell you how much they want to see you, but if they don't end up seeing you it doesn't really mean anything.

5. The actions that ruined the relationship in the first place are still going to be there.

As much as you can say that you're starting with a clean slate, the past is always going to be there in the back of your mind. If they cheated on you in the past, you're always going to worry that they're cheating on you again. It's unavoidable.

6. You'll fall back into old habits quickly.

Although the first few days or even weeks may feel great, it's the 'honeymoon' phase. You're getting used to each other again and trying extra hard to make the other person happy. However, one small slip up and you're in an argument. One argument turns into a week long fight which leaves both people unhappy.

7. It's going to be twice as hard to walk away.

Of course you walked away the first time and you instantly felt better, but somehow you let this person back into your life again. This time, you wanted it to work twice as much as you did the first time because you've already felt the pain of the loss once before. So in turn, it's going to be even harder to walk away this time.

8. Your friends are going to question your decisions.

Your friends were there for you the first time and they're still here for you now, so they watched you suffer through the breakup the first time and now they're wondering what in the world you were thinking. Although they'll support you, you'll know that they don't agree with you going back to a toxic relationship because no one wants their friends to be in an unhappy situation.

9. There's a lot that's happened that you don't know about.

No matter how much time has passed, you've missed a portion of each other's lives. You're going to be missing pieces of their life which won't make you feel too great. Some stuff will remain a secret and other stuff you won't like. At the end of the day, it's still a toxic situation.

10. It wasn't worth it.

A toxic relationship is always going to be a toxic relationship. The flaws and problems are always going to be there whether they're present or in the back of your mind. It's the unfortunate truth, but it's just a bunch of heartbreak for nothing.

Focus on building healthy relationships with new people. It's unlikely that a former toxic relationship is going to be able to make such a drastic change into a healthy relationship. It's too much of a strain on your emotions to put yourself through that for a second or maybe even a third time. It's time to move on and be happy.

Popular Right Now

To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

91327
views

Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

13 (Liberating) Cuffing Season Thoughts From Your Friendly, Neighborhood Single

Ding dong, everyone's lonely.

7
views

I can hear the bells chiming in the distance and in between the chimes are the sounds of my family members asking whether or not I have a significant other.

Urban Dictionary: During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity cause singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.

To celebrate this holiday season, here are some gifs you can show your family members to remind them once again that someone hasn't put a ring on it.

1. Do you consider this in a relationship?

2. I'm just trying to be like Adele

3. Or like Honey Boo Boo

4. If the game works, it works.

5. Who needs to be in a relationship when you have yourself 

6. Too much stress being in a relationship

7. Do you see a ring on it? I didn't think so...

8. Do I have anyone with me?

9. You may not have someONE, but you do have wine

10.  As if

11.  We are all Chandler at one point in our lives

12.  And SpongeBob

13.  There's so much room in the tub for bubbles when there's only one person inside

Related Content

Facebook Comments