Girls, it’s time to start being more confident. More Forward. More us.

Step One:

Stop apologizing all the time. Now I’m not saying to stop apologizing altogether. Don’t become a jerk. We aren’t perfect and we definitely do make mistakes. Mistakes big enough to deserve apologies. However, most of the time we apologize for no reason. In arguments, in the work place, when simply being bumped into on the street. “I’m so sorry” has become an instinctive response almost. It’s degrading in a way. It’s depressing how we automatically have the urge to see the situation at being our own fault. From here on out, pause before you say your apologies. Evaluate the situation, is any of this even your fault? It’s important to stand your ground if it isn’t. Don’t be afraid to change the “I’m so sorry” to “I don’t know what to tell you, I did nothing wrong here”.

Step Two:

If there’s a “him”, be forward with him.

Believe it or not, being forward is attractive. Everything in moderation! There is absolutely such a thing as being too forward. I’ve seen it happen many times and it often results in an uncomfortable situation to say the least. That being said, a girl who knows what she wants is respected. When you voice your opinion, your dynamic with him will be better. Don’t let him decide everything. Tell him what you want. Do you want to just be friends? Don’t get pushed into being anything else. Do you want to be any form of more than friends? Tell him straight up. And make sure he knows exactly what you want from this. Is this a no strings attached situation? Or are you only in it for the commitment? A lot of time and feelings can be spared when you’re straight up with him. If he’s a good guy, he’ll be forward back saying he either does or doesn’t agree. It’s logic! You won’t get what you want if you don’t tell him. Don’t force him to read you, make it easy on him. Make it easy on yourself!

Step Three:

Be openly confident with yourself and with others. I mean this very literally. Say it. Throw it into your conversations with your friends. Little things like “but what do you mean! I’m amazing!”

These little statements come off as jokes but over time they build the belief in yourself and in those you talk to! It’s immensely important for your friends to see you as a person of confidence. Their belief fuels your belief and sooner or later there’s this developed confidence in yourself you may have thought never possible before.

Do be careful not to overdo this one. Obviously you don’t want to come off as vain or conceited. I promise you however, that throwing it in every now and then won’t make you seem anything but confident. That’s a look you want.

Step Four:

Stop caring what other people think. I’ll be honest, that’s the hardest advice I’ve ever attempted to follow. Naturally, I want to make other people happy so of course I care what other people think of me! What I didn’t realize is that my constant concern for other peoples’ opinions had me acting in ways that wasn’t true to myself. That is the worst thing you can do when trying to establish yourself. How can you make a name for yourself when you’re busy trying to be what everyone else wants you to be? Taking advice into consideration is key, but you should never let it act as a guide. No longer caring what people think of me is definitely the best thing I’ve ever done to benefit myself.

Step Five:

Stop being dependent on others for things. The more people you have to rely on, the more at risk you are of being let down truthfully. That may be a rather pessimistic perspective, but it’s the truth. Relying on others for things that are important to your wellbeing is dangerous! Think about it. If you rely on someone for your happiness and something happens to the relationship, (friends drift apart, relationships can falter), your happiness is now gone. An essential part of you I’d hope! I assure you that you can find something in yourself to place your happiness into. Something more stable than a person. When you can rely on yourself and only yourself for the essentials in your life, you automatically become a stronger person mentally. If you can accomplish this be extremely proud of yourself! It’s something some people struggle with all their lives.

Step Six:

Figure out what makes you different from the other girls and emphasize it as much as you can. Basically, I’m telling you to be yourself. Not what anyone wants or expects from you. It’s teaching yourself a bit of independence and that’s probably the hardest thing to teach. Unfortunately, there isn’t any sort of instruction manual on this. There’s no curriculum or foundation to build off of. It’s simply something you have to figure out for yourself. Maybe it’s a sport you play or an instrument that inspired you. Maybe it’s you career goals or your smarts. Maybe it’s how well you work with your peers or how important your siblings are to you. It doesn’t need to be anything major it can be something tiny. Something simple. As long as it’s something that make you, well, you.

By far the most important part about being more confident, about being more forward, about being more respected, is absolutely about being more you.