I'm not sure I would've discovered my sexuality as early or as easily if you haven't come into my life. I was young and hadn't really even had a crush on a boy yet, so the way I felt when you were around was something new.
You were one of my first true best friends. We practically knew everything there was to know about one another. Many of my favorite memories were created in the few years I knew you.
I don't believe you even know the impact you had on me. I never told you, and we never really talked about it. You helped me, just by being yourself.
It was just the connection that we had, and when we kissed, then I slowly began to realize that I like girls.
It was certainly a strange feeling as I wasn't quite at puberty yet so I didn't understand a lot, but as I got older things made sense. I never even thought it was wrong to like you either. I was never around or had heard of people talking about same-gender love. I also had a gay couple babysit us and live with us for a short while, so it was sort of the norm for me.
I remember when we first kissed. I'm actually pretty sure it was a dare or some sort of game, but nonetheless, I was nervous. My stomach tied up in knots and I was excited. It was then that I thought about it a bit more. It was that kissed that changed me, as strange as that may seem.
You were my first kiss, crush, even love. It may not have been an 'in love' feeling, I mean, we were only kids. However, I would say that I loved you in some sort of way.
I learned so much when I was with you. We explored a lot when we were together sometimes. Once again, we were young and still learning so, stripping naked and touching didn't seem strange to us.
In the end, you will never know what you did for me. Once you moved away I figured the rest out on my own. I learned about different sexualities and that I fell into the bisexual area as I grew up liking boys as well. I went on to kiss more girls and get more comfortable with who I was, but it's all because of you.
I'm not sure if or when I would've figured out who I was if you hadn't come into my life. You were wild and carefree and just ready for anything. If I didn't have you and never tried anything, I probably would've been too nervous. After you, the next girls I kissed were two friends while playing spin the bottle. I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't already kissed a girl before and was okay with who I was.
So thank you. Thank you for just being you. Having you in my life has made me who I am in the sense that I'm confident in my sexuality and comfortable liking both boys and girls.
In fact, thank you to everyone out there who has helped someone with their sexuality, either intentional or not. It honestly means so much.
