I'm tired of meeting "men", hitting it off, thinking it's going to go somewhere and then they decide that they're just going to ignore me until I get the idea. This is called ghosting. And you know what? It's not okay. I know we are all guilty of committing this dating crime. Trust me, I've been there, but that's not something I do anymore. I realized it was childish and wrong and hurtful. If I'm not interested or I just don't think we're compatible, I'll tell the person, nicely. I never like to make anyone feel bad since I've been on the other end of it.
I'm a grown woman. I don't have time to play these mind games in the dating scene. Are you interested in me? Ok, great. Prove it. Put in the effort. Show me consistency. Show me that you're going to stick around and that you want to be with me.
I am no way saying that it should all be left on the guy to do these things because it's an equal effort. I'm just talking from past experience that I'm usually the one to put in 90% and they're doing the bare minimum. You know what's a pet peeve? When they use excuses. We all get busy, but if we like someone we make time for them, no matter what. I've seen way too many of my friends get upset because the guy they liked hasn't talked to them in a few days because they are busy. We are the generation that's always on our phones. If you can't take two seconds out of your day to text someone and say, "Sorry, I've been caught up. Hope you're having a good day/week," I don't buy it. A simple text is just that, it's simple. It shows that you're still thinking of them.
Here is a piece of advice if you're going to take anything from this: If you're not interested in someone, maybe you have mixed feelings, at least take them on a date first just to make sure. Hanging out with someone in a group setting all the time isn't enough and neither is judging their character by the way they text. You'll be glad that you did this.
Honesty is really important and so is communication. Be upfront with the person if you no longer have feelings, not interested, etc. Yes, they will feel a little hurt, upset, maybe they'll be a bit disappointed, but I can tell you they will appreciate your honesty more than you disappearing from their life and left with no answer. That closure will mean a lot.
Next time, if you're going to ghost someone, put yourself in their shoes. Think about how they will feel.
