At my age, I feel like it is not a far stretch to say that "getting to know myself" is not high on a lot of my peers' priority lists. It wasn't high on mine for a very long time either. The phrase "getting to know yourself" in itself sounds like something out of a lame self-help book or school-required guest speaker spiel. I avoided the process of getting to know myself for a long time for a lot of reasons. It didn't seem especially important to me. I finally realized how important it was to really dig deep and get to know myself only after I realized I had lost a lot of who I was somewhere along the way.
I think it is really easy to lose yourself when you get caught up in something else. That "something else" can be a person, place, or a thing. I know I am guilty of getting caught up in all of those things at one time or another. There have been times that I have lost myself because I have been thrown into a new situation—like starting college. There have been other times that I have lost myself in a new thing—like a job. There have also been times that I have lost myself in a person—like a new relationship.
It is all too common that people only attempt to get to know themselves once they have lost themselves. It makes sense though—why would you put in a concerted effort into getting to know yourself before you realize that you have lost yourself? People often operate in the "If it's not broken, don't fix it" when it comes to self improvement and self love.
One of the most painful things that you will do in your life is get to know yourself. It is extremely difficult to look yourself in the mirror, admit your flaws, and learn to love them. I think that’s why a lot of people never do it, because it is so difficult.
Some of the most powerful moments of my life have been in the midst of picking up the pieces and putting them back together. I have been broken by a number of different things—loss, heartbreaks, etc.—and they all have allowed me in some way shape or form to not only break, but to rebuild.
Getting to know yourself allows you to operate in a healthier way in all realms of your life. It is an ongoing process. The more often that you open yourself up to new experiences, and to the risk of being broken, the more chances you have to get to know yourself. Working through the tough stuff—heartbreaks, losses, moves, etc.—instead of running from it is what makes the difference between people who know themselves well and those that never truly will. Getting to know yourself is heavily based on understanding yourself. In order to understand yourself, you really do have to work through some tough things.
I truly believe that the best way to get to know yourself is to be broken. To have all of the pieces of yourself laid out before you, and to be able to look at them one-by-one, and learn about them. When you are broken you have the ability to pick and choose which pieces you are going to use to put yourself back together, and which pieces you are going to leave behind—along with whatever broke you.
