It's time to dive into who I was in high school... scary, right? I have almost been out of high school for two years and obviously, I have grown a lot since I was a senior (or even a freshman), but there was one thing that defined me during those years of teenage-dom. Going into my tenth-grade year, I was recently single and way over dating.

So, I made the bold, and very quick decision, to not get into another relationship while I was in high school.

And it came with its rollercoaster moments. When I made my pact I was strict on it because I was so hurt before. I harbored all my feelings towards guys I liked. I mean, every time I saw an attractive guy, I forced myself to not look in his direction. Don't get involved was the motto for my entire tenth-grade year because I was determined to stick it out.

At first, it was easy because I was flooded with confidence and being an independent woman. I even went through "cuffing" season without a single urge to find a date. At this time, I did receive a message from an interested guy and I even shot him down.

I cut my hair, experimented with makeup (aka learned how to wing my eyeliner), and dove into all of my interests. I finished a book, did a book signing, and was doing a lot of things for myself.

Then, it all came tumbling down. I kept my composure for one year before I caught feelings and I caught them hard. I was really into this guy (or who I thought he was). Then, I started questioning everything. I was in true denial of my pact.

Slowly, I was making excuses, telling myself that dating wouldn't hurt. So, we went on one date after two weeks of talking and it was actually really enjoyable, but he quickly informed me that he wasn't sure about being a couple just yet.

I tried to convince myself that I was the type of person to date without commitment. Then, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't ready to date, or that this pact would give me better perspective. So, I shut the feelings down... after I was rejected very hard.

Before I knew it, I was conflicted between my heart and this pact that I was so determined to keep. I was judging people harder. I wasn't allowing myself to open up with these guys.

Then, I cracked under the pressure and went on a date. A really, really bad date. I mean, I was asked on a date, barely knew the guy and he picked me up when we first met. Then, after he planned the whole date with expensive places, I had to pay for myself. Then, he wanted a goodnight kiss.

I was wondering what I did wrong and all I could blame it on was not waiting until after high school to date. Because obviously, this pact and not wanting to commit was the reason dates were going bad. I went on three dates after that and all were just as horrible.

No, seriously, I had clingy dates, bored ones, and pity ones. Eventually, I began to think that I was the problem.

But, my pact stayed intact. I graduated high school without getting into a long-term relationship since my ninth grade year. I seriously waited four years and never got into a relationship even though, in the back of my mind, I didn't think that was possible.

After the fog had cleared and I was holding my diploma, was it worth it? and my answer is... depends. I learned a lot of lessons by not dating, but I managed to confuse myself more than help.

What did I learn?

1. Don't put love on a timeline

It's a bad idea. Don't tell yourself that you aren't going to date for a certain amount of time. You will just confuse your brain and second-guess your gut feelings. Instead, date if you are comfortable and be ok with rejection.

2. High school isn't a good place for long-term relationships

I did get this part right. Statistically, it is very hard to continue a relationship after high school, so to all of you who managed to do it, props. Usually, couples don't continue relationships due to college, long distance, or just simply outgrowing each other.

3. There will be bad dates

I am blessed now to be dating a guy that makes every date so much fun, but it wasn't always that way. Some dates are going to be plain stupid, but it's okay if you don't want to continue seeing the person. Just be honest.

4. Do things for yourself too

The best part of my journey is that I really let myself be happy. I dove into my interests and pursued my passions, which leads me to my next point.

5. Work on finding yourself

I didn't know until this experience that I was a huge fan of commitment. To further explain, I don't like to just go on a bunch of dates without the intention of looking for a mate. I also found out that I am not a fan of first date movies. They are awkward and really prevent people from talking, but maybe that's the point.

Whatever you plan to do, use my story as a word of caution. I managed to stick out my pact, but I struggled. It is perfectly ok to date in high school, but be prepared for all the outcomes. Crushes will come and go and rejection will hurt, but it will all be worth it.