College is all about learning about yourself and others. Growing up in a hookup culture has made this process much more complicated. With the easy access of hundreds of males and females on dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble, it isn’t surprising to question if something is real or fake. Yes, people download dating apps to potentially start a relationship, but just as many are looking for casual sex or a “no strings attached” open relationship. The following piece aligns with our hookup culture and was sent anonymously to The Odyssey JMU. For all of the people that have been heartbroken and are too afraid to open back up, and for those who need to find inner peace with their relationships, this is for you.
“It’s 12 am and your phone lights up the whole room with a single text. Your heart drops and you wonder if it’s “that person." The text reads, “Hey, I can’t sleep, come over.” You begin to repeatedly reason and tell yourself that you shouldn’t text this person back, knowing that if you do you may walk down the same path you’ve walked hundreds of times before. But being a hopeless romantic, what do you end up doing? You text them back. Sure, some of you may blame it on the excessive amounts of tequila shots you put down three hours earlier in the night, while others will try and convince themselves that the person had a change of heart and it will be “different” this time around; that maybe they’re texting you because they’re ready for more than just a hook up now.
Whatever your motive may be, we’ve all been in this situation before. We’ve all given in to the idea that someone that has done us wrong is a changed person now and is worthy of another chance. I don’t blame you for feeling or thinking that way. I blame it on our generation and the social norms we’ve created for ourselves. I blame it on this twisted idea of love and lust our generation has gotten frequently confused with. Its 2016 and it feels like we live in a generation of heartbroken teenagers afraid to invest energy and time into something more than just a bed and a good morning conversation with a stranger.
Maybe it goes back to that one devastating “break up” where you promised yourself you’d never get hurt and open up to someone again. Or maybe that one person who led you on for months only to find out they were talking to three other people at the same time. I get that it’s in our nature to like to have options and that we all crave a certain level of attention. However, at what point do we draw the line and make a choice? At what point do we invest time in one person instead of three? I worry for our generation because we’ve always had and always will be surrounded with an alternative. We’ve become accustomed to always having instant options at our finger types. Our social media lifestyles from Tinder to Bumble mislead us into thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side and that it’s okay to not settle with one person who you may be attracted to and hit it off with.
For this reason, it seems too often that we find ourselves closed off to others we meet. We walk in to a conversation with someone new already with huge walls up that make us half engaged in the conversation and questioning if this is just a big waste of time. Our generation has become programmed to giving up too early if someone isn’t perfect straight from the beginning because we believe that there will be someone else right around the corner thanks to the connected social media world we live in.
It’s 2016, people. To those who respond and give those 12am texts the time of day, I applaud you. I applaud you for your bravery and willingness to not give up and allow yourself to actually have a shot at love. Is it risky? Yes, but we need people like you. I myself end up giving more people credit than they deserve, because I believe people can change and I believe that we all deserve more than just a below average one-night stand at the end of the day. Now, to those who still send those 12am texts out to multiple people, I see you and I will keep you in my prayers.”
Stop hiding behind your virtual walls and start to make time for substantial relationships. College is just the start of a life full of people, and there is no ticking clock telling you that you need to find a significant other by graduation. No relationship is a waste of time, but rather a learning experience that is worth the effort.
