Millennials Have Adopted A Culture Of 'Un-Dating,' And Frankly, It Needs To Stop
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Millennials Have Adopted A Culture Of 'Un-Dating,' And Frankly, It Needs To Stop

Ghosting, “just hanging out”, and secrets. Who decided it was okay?

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Millennials Have Adopted A Culture Of 'Un-Dating,' And Frankly, It Needs To Stop
Kaitlin Pastor

As a millennial, I have come to notice typical behavior of my generation that was not passed down from that prior. We are the generation who grew up still playing outside, the ones who did not play on iPads at three years old, and the generation that has completely destroyed dating.

When I decided I was going to write this article, I had full intentions of writing an eloquent article, giving my opinion, and pleading on behalf of the emotions of both girls and guys, who have fallen victim to millennial dating habits. However, I don’t know how refined I can be when I am talking about a subject matter that I never dreamt could become this much of a problem.

Instead of asking a girl on a date, we get asked to “hang out”. Instead of dating, people are “talking” (does anyone even know how to clarify what that means, because it’s still beyond me). Instead of chivalry, people have begun “ghosting”. Instead of being straightforward with your intentions, you get people caught up in deciphering “mixed signals” and being too afraid to ask what their significant other wants out of the arrangement.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who has noticed. There are terms that we as a collective have come up with, and I still don’t fully understand what they mean, nor do I know who on earth decided it was okay. For example, ghosting. If you’re unfamiliar with this term, so am I. From what I’ve gathered, it’s something along the lines of dating someone, and then disappearing on them, dropping all forms of communication and acting as though the relationship never happened.

REALLY? Who decided they would put up with that and since when did being utterly disrespectful to even basic human feelings become a norm? Where is the respect for others’ emotions? Where is the desire for true, honest to God human connection and true love?

I’m not saying we need to go full-on “Notebook” style, with 365 days straight of handwritten letters (Although, I don’t think that would be a bad idea), but we at least need to regain a sense of decency and respect for one another.

If you only want to be friends, be honest. Promising more, and then disappearing is no way to treat a fellow human. You don’t have to date everyone you go on a date with- you do need to understand that they have feelings and are worthy of an explanation. If you think a girl is cute, tell her and ask her on a date for goodness sake. Don’t send her “you up?” snaps or act indifferent because you don’t want to come on too strong.

I know dating is hard, and it can be scary. It gets messy, sure. Feelings get hurt, hearts get broken, but we can assuage that and lessen the blow if we choose honesty and compassion for one another over selfishly keeping our intentions to ourselves, whether it be for fear of hurting someone’s feelings, or just not wanting to “deal” with a break-up.

Be honest, be kind, and be straightforward with what you want. It will be much easier finding someone who shares the same views and desires if we just outright say what we want instead of hiding behind text messages or running away.

You just might find the love of your life that way.

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