I understand people that (thankfully) don't suffer from an anxiety disorder may not know what to say or not say. I completely understand - I mean, why would you know? Here are some things that would be better off left unsaid (and trust me, this list could go on for pages and pages):
1. "There are people who have it worse than you."
True, but that doesn't automatically make it my fault. How is my anxiety relevant to people that have it worse than me? Instead, try saying, "I'm really sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it?" That statement alone can make a person suffering from anxiety feel better.
2. "Just be happy."
I'm trying, trust me. There are reasons or things that happened that caused me to constantly replay during those sleepless nights. Anxiety is not just a matter of willpower and personal focus. Instead, try asking, "What can I do to make you feel better?" Give me the option to speak about what is worrying me and how you can help.
3. "Everything will be okay."
Yes, everything will be okay in the end, but how? Instead, say "Don't worry, I am here for you." Suffering from anxiety has a tendency to make me feel as if I'm all alone.
4. "Just calm down."
A mental illness is not a personal choice. Trust me, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. That's like telling someone with allergies to simply just "stop sneezing." To me, it's like you are insinuating that I am deciding to have my anxiety disorder. Instead, try asking, "What can I do to support you?"
5. "It's all in your head."
Yes, it's all in my head - it's all a mental issue. But, unfortunately, I have no control over it. Hearing this actually just makes me feel completely helpless. Instead, try saying, "Let's go do something fun." Try getting my mind off of whatever is bothering me.
6. "What do you have to be anxious about?"
More than you could ever imagine. Are you telling me that my anxiety means nothing? Even if that's not what you intentionally mean, that's how I take it. Instead, try saying, "How can I make you feel less stress?"
7. "But you have so much to be thankful for."
When you say this, this is what I hear: "I am not doing enough to be happier. I'm not grateful for enough in my life." This statement implies that you think I'm not doing enough. Little do you know, I'm trying with every fiber of my body to be happier. Instead, say, "I appreciate you." It means everything to me to be reminded that I am valued.
8. "I know how you feel."
No... no, you don't, and I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I go through. Just because you know the feeling of being anxious for a test or a big event doesn't mean that you can fully understand what I am going through. Don't compare your normal everyday worries to an anxiety disorder. An anxiety disorder has the power to completely consume a person's life and can become a day-to-day struggle.
9. "What's wrong with you?"
Honestly, I'm not going to take the time to even elaborate on this one.
