My best friend and I were on FaceTime. You know your friend is about to tell you something major when she starts off by saying, "BITCH!" Knowing my best friend, it could only mean she was going to spill the tea about her current man (who really isn't her man, but should be). And, I was right. Long story short: he dropped the "I'm not ready for a relationship" bomb on her and friend zoned her. By the tone of her voice, I could tell she was not too happy and I couldn't blame her for it.
Imagine talking to a certain person and spending so much time with them, which eventually leads you to catch feelings. One day you feel all gusty and pour your heart out just for those feelings not to be reciprocated.
Here's the cherry on top: they drop the "Let's just be friends" bomb on you.
It's the disaster you hope would not happen but it does and it sucks.
After that conversation with my best friend, I got curious about other people's experiences with getting friend zoned, so I texted and called some of my gal pals and homeboys. They were more than glad to answer a few questions regarding their friend-zone stories.
Listening to them talk about their personal experiences, it is safe to say that being put in the friend zone is not the greatest feeling at all. It can be frustrating and confusing. As Homeboy One put it, "I think in most situations, the girl might give some signals and the guy shoots his shot, but then she says no and he gets really choked."
You think you have a chance when, in reality, you don't and it screws you up a little bit.
"You kind of wonder why you weren't good enough or what you could have done differently," Gal Pal Three briefly explained.
Gal Pal One shared one of her experiences where a guy pulled a 180 on her. Initially, she decided to just be friends with him because she did not feel the same way. She kept her word about being friends with him, but, as time went by, she realized she was developing feelings for him. Thinking that everything might work out this time around, she told him. Except he had moved on and told her they were better off just being friends.
The rejection causes your confidence level to drop.
Gal Pal One and Gal Pal Two both experienced losing a lot of confidence after being friend zoned. Gal Pal One got to the point where she expected it to happen with every boy she talked to because she thought no one would ever feel the same way towards her.
Gal Pal Two became convinced that she just was not the type of girl guys want to get serious with.
It was not only the girls who dealt with self-esteem issues, the boys did as well. However, the boys said it was not as bad for them. When asked for an explanation, Homeboy Three stated, "Life goes on, don't let one girl stop it from moving." They get over it and accept that it was not going to work out.
When asked what would make them friend zone someone, everyone had their own different reasons. These reasons range from personality to having chemistry.
Gal Pal Two expressed how much personality matters. "When you get to know the guy more, you learn things about him that you don't like or didn't expect of him," she explained.
Meanwhile, having chemistry is important for Homeboy Two. When asked to elaborate, this is what he had to say: "If you two don't get along well, then you really shouldn't try to move on to the next level."
My friends and I came to the conclusion that being friend zoned is not always the worst. It could be a good thing sometimes. We noticed that we actually became closer to the people we decided not to date as well as with the one who friend zoned us. At first, it does suck, but you just have to be patient and see how things play out. For all you know, something good might come out of it.
