F*ck The Friendzone, You're Just Salty You Can't Sleep With Them

F*ck The Friendzone, You're Just Salty You Can't Sleep With Them

"Friend zone" only exists as a refuge for bitter, cock-blocked "pals" who couldn't smash.


Ah, the friend zone, a land teeming with potential boyfriends, girlfriends, and various folk (unsuccessfully) searching for romantic partners in their friends. Nice Guy Syndrome™ runs rampant here, convincing each member of the friend zone that their refusal is due solely to the "bitch" in their love interest, coaxing them into only liking "bad guys" or deeming their friend "too intimidating" to date.

Have no fear, bud! Hundreds of serious tips and tricks exist to "escape" the friend zone, including altering your thoughts and/or actions to show how much of a "lovable person" you are, subtle flirting, and sensual touching (whatever that's supposed to mean).

This is all, however, bullshit, as the "friend zone" only exists as a refuge for bitter, cock-blocked "pals" who couldn't smash.

You see, in my twenty years of living, I have yet to hear somebody refer to the mystical friend zone with a positive connotation.

It's always:

"How can he NOT like me, we've been best friends for years! He shouldn't have led me on if he just wants to be friends."
"They just friend zoned me! There must be something wrong with them, how could they not want to date me?"
"I've been so nice to her, she owes me a date! What a bitch."


"I am a true friend, and respect their decision to decline my advances. Everybody has their own preferences, and it's okay if I don't meet theirs. I still appreciate their companionship, and hope nothing changes too seriously."

The problem here lies in the notion that all relationships lie in a tier system, and that moving "up" is a reward while remaining stagnant or moving "down" is a punishment. The friend zone implies that being in a platonic friendship where romantic and sexual attraction are both lacking on one party's side while existing on the other's, is borderline abuse to the person being kept from advancing up the tier.

If the ultimate goal is the combination of a healthy romantic and sexual relationship, typically what we consider when we think of having a significant other, then being trapped in the "friend zone" inhibits us from achieving this.

But, what are we really missing when we're cornered in the friend zone? After all, a healthy "significant other" type of relationship is said to exist most easily when the folks involved are already best friends, or quickly become them. The only significant change between the relationship of "friends" and "significant others" is the addition of a sexual or otherwise intimate component.

Therefore, if you've been friend zoned, there's a couple of things that may have contributed.

You may not be as close to this person as you think. Remember, it's called the "friend zone," not the "person-I-just-met-who's-creepily-asking-me-out zone." If this is the case, the individual you've approached has every right to deny your advances without your complaints of yet again being rejected.

Your romantic/sexual interest may not harbor the same feelings and attractions for you. Every person has their own preferences, and permitted these preferences are all legal and moral, every person has the right to pursue or abstain from entering a relationship, especially if they aren't romantically or sexually attracted to another individual. If this is the case, you're just salty because you can't sleep with them, and that says far more about you than the person who turned you down.

Life is not a romantic comedy. You are not guaranteed a relationship with somebody simply because you're friends, regardless of how long the friendship has existed. Quit complaining of being "trapped" in the non-existent friend zone simply because you can't sleep with somebody.

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