Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Apparently the seven years of friendship didn't really mean much. I remember when we met in the third grade. You were the new girl and in our class we had just gotten our pet salmon. I named mine Nemo and so did you. Learning that we both had this weird obsession with "Finding Nemo" was our first real bonding moment. We sailed through elementary and middle school together hooked at the hip. We were inseparable. We went through our freshman year as if nothing had changed. I threw a surprise 15th birthday party for you and it was arguably one of the best days ever. But then, during our sophomore year of high school, everything started to change. You were going through something that I wasn't fully equipped for.
Anxiety. Depression. The killer of our friendship. Anxiety and depression hit you like a semi truck and I've never felt so useless. I didn't know how to help you. You would shut yourself off to everybody, although I never thought you would shut yourself off to me. You used to tell me everything. We were partners in crime. You started missing school. A lot of school. At first, it would be a day or two here and there, but as the school year went on it became weeks. People asked me where you were and I had no answer.
I tried to see you but you pushed me away. I offered to bring you your missing schoolwork and help you out with it but you refused. We went from talking everyday to not at all. It was a dramatic change for me. Nobody was there for me to talk to. You were one of my only friends. Our junior year I thought it was going to get better–it didn't. I came to the first day of school to find out that you had transferred altogether. You didn't even go to this school anymore. I was actually alone.
This isn't a story about how I was stranded in high school–this is a thank you letter. Thank you for making me a stronger person. Thank you for showing me that people come and go, but life goes on. Thank you. After you left, I had to learn how to roam the halls all by myself for the first time since third grade. You were always the extroverted, bubbly one and I was the introverted, observant one. When you cut me off, I had to learn how to put myself out there to get where I needed to be. I had to make friends, talk to people and do things that made me uncomfortable, but it was okay. I'm okay. I am stronger now.
Now I've had the courage to start my own YouTube channel and I'm having so much fun with it. A few years ago, I never would've been able to put myself out there like I am now and I owe it all to you. I want you to know that you were a great friend and I thank you for all the amazing memories we had. I don't have any ill-will toward you and I genuinely hope you're doing better. Thank you for everything–even the pain.
Sincerely,
Erica xoxo
