Just forgive. It's one of the hardest things someone can do. You forgive your dog for biting you or your mom for accidentally putting meat in the vegetarian lasagna. You forget that you and your roommate got into a little cat fight and that your teammate drank all your beer, but there are some things that will be imprinted in our minds forever. That one special game that your dad couldn't make it to, the text your best friend sent about you and one of the hardest things to forget is being hurt by someone you love.
Forgiveness means either accepting or forgetting the pain that you went through that someone else put you through. It means letting go of the heartbreak you may have had to endure. It is not easy. Sometimes you scan your brain over and over again for something to make you believe that it is okay what that person did, but it isn't. So why should you have to get over it? Well if you ever want to rest at night and love again it's a necessity.
How long should this process of forgiving take? There is no time limit. If your significant other cheats on you and you decide to stay with them, that doesn't mean you have a week to figure everything out and then you can go back to normal. If that is the case props to you. I am the type of person that will think about a scenario that happened years ago and act like I forgave, but deep down inside my heart I still ask myself why? When it's 3 a.m. and you're snooping through their phone, searching for something you don't want to find, that's when you know you haven't forgotten. That's when you know that you may never forget, as hard as you try and as much as you paint a smile on your face, there will always be that tiny grudge, but you hide it because love is a powerful drug.
As one says, "holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." So what do you do to forgive and possibly forget? We can't all pull a Lauren Conrad and walk away cool, calm and collected. Some people have mental breakdowns, anxiety attacks and even worse, self-loathing.
Breathe, release endorphins, lessen stress, go to therapy, end the relationship, find love, find self-worth.
If everything else fails then forgiveness may not be in your future. That is okay. You don't have to be the person that is alright with getting walked all over. Stand up for yourself and let them know you do not forgive them and you may never let it go. But, life can be a lot easier if it is just dropped. It just depends on whether you are willing to take the long journey of resentment. The best treatment is to talk the situation out and if you're lucky, you will find someone who will listen.
