I promise you that I’m not angry. I’m trying to not be bitter, but we all have those days where people just don’t treat us right. Then we get told to be the better person, to be nice to the people that just destroyed us. How is that fair?

I used to be a firm believer in being the better person, but I soon realized that I was letting others step all over me. I’m not going to lie. I thought about revenge a few times. When a guy broke my heart, I seriously considered plastic wrapping his car early in the morning before he had to head out to work. If my friend decided to cross me, I knew that I could always put mashed potatoes in her shampoo or swap out the cream in Oreos to white toothpaste. If those things didn’t work, I could always just egg their houses. I had devious thoughts, but of course I never acted on any of them.

There have been a few people in my life that have really betrayed me, but I could never bring myself to do the same things to them that they did to me. I forgave a lot of people who did not deserve forgiveness, and I gave second and third chances when I only should have given one. At some point, many of my so called “friends” figured out that I forgave easily, and there were really no consequences for their actions against me. I’m sure everyone can tell how that went. People did and said what they wanted to me, and I got flattened by them. I felt used and unworthy of love, but most of all, I felt like I meant nothing to the people who I thought were my friends.

I finally put my foot down. Why was I supposed to still do things for people when they lied and were rude to me? Why did I have to be the better person and continue to be used? I realized that I didn’t have to be that person if I didn’t want to be. I did not want to seek revenge, and even at a young age, I knew that it was wrong to ever wish harm on another person, but I refused to continue being pushed around by others.

No, I am not going to put mashed potatoes in your shampoo if you lie to me, but you can guarantee that my trust for you went out the window. If you continue to be fake with me, then I’m not the person you should call at two in the morning when your life is in shambles because I’m probably going to tell you to deal with it yourself. I am supposed to be your friend, not your taxi, your bank, or your get out of jail free card. People cannot expect help from those that they have done terrible things to.

Forgive, but don’t forget. There comes a point in time where we have to leave people behind and move on whether it’s because they did something crappy to us or we just aren’t in the same place anymore. Some people are simply toxic to us. That doesn’t mean that it is okay to hold a grudge against them, but it does mean that we are able to move past what they did to us and live without them. No matter how mean someone is to you, retaliation will most likely just make the situation worse, but you don’t have to stay around the people that make you feel bad about yourself, and you don’t have to continue to do favors for them either. Friendships and relationships end, and that is more than okay.

You are the writer of your own life, so if that means ending one chapter and starting another to be happy, then so be it. Never let someone make you feel worthless, and never let anyone use you for their own benefit. Just simply write the story the way you want it to be remembered.