There are people in this world who are chronic worriers. They will worry about things that have, and mostly about things that haven’t happened. They will worry about their friends, family, and the person that let them cut in front of them at the grocery store. They can’t help but always worry about what “might” happen so that if it does, it won’t hurt them the way that past, unexpected hurts have.
Sometimes the worry comes out of nowhere and it can ruin a day, no matter how hard you try to shake it off. Other days it is somewhat non-existent. You may even feel at peace, and in those moments you remember what life was like before you were shown all the reasons you should expect the unexpected. Maybe the last time you felt peaceful was years ago, or when you were a kid, or maybe even you had a slight taste of peace the other day. Either way, you cling to those moments of stillness and hope that maybe one day you can feel that stillness just one more time.
For me my worrying was something that I was accustomed to, I worried to the point where I gave myself full blown panic attacks as a child. Luckily, I was able to learn as a young kid that worrying myself to that extent did nothing for me, and that to some extent I could control it. I grew out of the extremeness of my worrying, the panic attacks went away but the worry always seemed to linger.
I taught myself how to suppress it, and for a while, I truly didn’t worry. Then my life threw me curveballs, some I couldn’t have even imagined, and not even those brought back the intense worry. It seems to be in times of trauma or extreme life change that worrying is the last thing on your mind, you learn to numb yourself, you may even become a little harsh and cold. It is when the years pass, it is when you are shown what it is like to be happy again, that the worry comes knocking for one more visit.
When you are happy you shed the harsh exterior you carried while getting through some hard times, and you, in turn, let your guard down. You don’t even realize that you let it down or that you became a little nicer. It just so happens that one day you don’t feel like you are scared like you used to be. You realize you may be a way too happy person who is a target for more curveballs. I mean, that is how it happened the first time.
You were blindly going through life not ready for the bad things that could happen. So, now that you are happy, now that you don’t have a harsh exterior protecting you (and blocking you from any good things that could happen) you feel vulnerable. These happy times can’t last forever, right? Wrong. That thinking will bring the happy times to a halt far before any of the good may run its course.
A worrier thinks they are protecting themselves by thinking of every worst-case scenario before it happens so they are protected if it does happen, instead of just enjoying the break life has given them. Instead of just being thankful and at peace, they are constantly trying to catch their breath because it seems as if their mind never stops running negative scenarios through their head, in preparation of something that will most likely will never happen.
People who worry a lot can be a lot to handle and not a lot of people are willing to put up with a thought process that is not their fault. While someone who worries can try to work on it, they can’t completely rid themselves of it. That is how they learned to handle life, it is their fight or flight response to being too happy or too content. It takes a special person, friend, or significant other to understand the struggle and the want this person has to change, but just can’t seem to find their footing.
For me, my worrying has weeded out a lot of so-so people in my life. Everyone who is in my life knows how I worry for me, them, their family, and so on. Every time I struggle I know that it may not ever be something that goes away, but it can be quieted. The right people, the patient people, the kind people, they are the ones that can quiet your thoughts and put your worries to rest.
There is no harm in admitting that some days you just can’t get out of your own head, or that you just can’t seem to stop worrying about things that haven’t even happened. Being honest is the first step to quieting down some very loud fears.
It can feel like you are all alone on days where the worries just seems to take over, but you most certainly are not. It is just the way you are wired. You are sensitive, and you care, and there is nothing wrong with that. People who tell you there is something wrong with you are the ones you have to let go of. They will never understand your level of awareness and compassion.
People who worry a lot care more than most. Every good thing they have in their lives they are terrified of losing. Just don’t let the worry take over your life, your friendships, or your relationships. Don’t let it make you feel exhausted, miserable, or like a shell of who you are, that is when you have let it go too far. When those things happen take a step back.
Reflect on how blessed you are to have so much to care about. Take a deep breath, take a second for yourself to reflect on all that you have, and realize that the worry sometimes just tends to get in the way of all you have been blessed with. Recognize that the entirety of the worry is not what can make it so debilitating, it is how you handle it, and who you have around you that could be adding to it.
